Jan. 28th, 2009

kjpepper: (Default)

  • 10:02 is psyched about snowstorm tomorrow. Two week old snow on the ground = stale.
  • 11:35 is really done with getting bad news from doctors, and freaking out about the latest.
  • 16:09 thinks it's definitely not a fun thing to realize how deep your own insecurity runs.
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kjpepper: (eat your brains)
I'm hoping today is an improvement over tomorrow, which did get a tiny bit better after long talks with both bluewindkitsune and sundart, packing another box (I'm now out - gonna have to find a few more), lamb chops (mmm, meat) and a bit of vanilla vodka. Today there is fresh whiteshit coming down, and it's been long enough since the last storm that I'm enjoying it. What was already on the ground was getting dingy. :) Plus it should make my driving lesson tomorrow quite interesting.

Yesterday was plain awful, but that's... not now... that's then. ** There were some hard realizations to be dealt with, and some truths that needed to be told weeks ago that needed to be processed with multiple people. I think in all cases, the essential lesson is be less of a coward about saying a) what I need b) what's going on in my life. I think in all cases where this applies I get so hung up on possible backlash when I say something about anything that I just... don't. That needs to not happen. Also... I think I need to learn to both take things at face value and to be someone who can be taken at face value. That right there has gotten me into more trouble than anything else.

I need to be done mining the past. For angst, analysis, self-flagellation, castigation of others, what have you. I've done it enough so that I have a pretty good understanding of where I fucked up and where I allowed others to fuck me up/over. I've got a game plan for the next six months, and kind of a nebulous idea for the six after that. Both plan and idea and the people/projects surrounding them are far worthier of my attention than the backward spiral I've been riding for damn ever.

Hmm. Headache. I'm guessing it's a lack of caffiene and not last night's vodka causing it (I didn't have THAT much). Off to get breakfast and start the day.

Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!

** name the movie and i give you cookie.


Jan. 28th, 2009 10:22 am
kjpepper: (masstransiscope)
Okay, so my appointment with the new specialist is tomorrow (aaaaaaaaaagh) but I don't know when, and I also have to find time to head up to Dr. Tassoni's and pick up the mountain of paperwork and pathology shit to take with me.

between that and the driving lesson, I'm not going to have much of a workday left.

*searches craigslist for a new or at least fully operational intestine*
kjpepper: (yarr!)
Home today, due to crapshaithe ** falling from sky. We've progressed to the freezing rain part of this afternoon's programming and the shift displeases me quite a bit. Ah well.

In other news I've been motoring through the to-do list I made for myself this morning, just trying to get chores done and myself taken care of on top of work and the omphaloskepsis I've been wallowing in indulging myself with.

cut for workout nattering and music blather )

Right, so much time, so little to do. Wait. Scratch that, reverse it... **

** Again, cookies if you know the references.
kjpepper: (Tenna (anxious))
If you say I have an appointment at UMass tomorrow morning, it might help if you specified UMass Memorial Medical Center in frakking WORCESTER. I can't do that on THAT short a notice.

Goddamn not driving yet fuck fuck fuckery *grumble*


Jan. 28th, 2009 03:23 pm
kjpepper: (squee)
Every so often the following poem pops back into my life.
My love, you are a river fed by many streams.
I bless all who have shaped you,
The lovers whose delights still dance patterns on your back,
Those who have carved your channels deeper, broader, wider,
Whitewater and backwater lovers,
Swamp lovers, sun-warmed estuary lovers,
Lovers with surface tension,
Lovers like boulders,
Like ice forming and breaking,
Lovers that fill and spill with the tides.
I bless those who have taught you
  and those who have pleased you
  and those who have hurt you,
All those who made you who you are.



Jan. 28th, 2009 04:13 pm
kjpepper: (OMG YAY)
karnythia bred me a silver egg!

Adopt one today!

Excuse me while I Kermit the Frog flail now.
kjpepper: (kickass (kung fu panda))
Something I realized when baking a cake this evening:

Life should not be defined by limitations, handicaps, or fear of failure.

Life should be defined by possibilities, challenges, the occasional crazy risk and having the balls to give something a chance.

Instead of saying for sure that you can't, try saying maybe you can. You'll never know until you do. (Or do not. There is no try.)

Something to live by.
kjpepper: (topless sayid)

I was kinda worried cause I was really really eh about the premiere last week, but tonight's was full of the beat me with the brainfuck bat win.I like how the show is clearly starting to wind to a conclusion and loose ends finally seem to be getting tied up - it actually looks like it's going some where instead of everyone running about because the writers didn't know WTF they were doing either.

More shows like this, less Jack and Kate boringness, amirite, y/y?
kjpepper: (Default)

  • 08:49 is pleased at the fresh snow.
  • 11:39 is midly freaking out about what is shaping up to be a hectic day tomorrow.
  • 13:49 is having a terrifyingly productive day
  • 18:56 has just baked a yummy cake... and it didn't end up crazy.
  • 22:53 has been hit with the LOST bat and now feels dirty for loving it.
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