Feb. 12th, 2009

kjpepper: (respect the poon)
The icon doesn't really have much to do with anything, I just never use it.

Crashed at 8 last night. I think I told [livejournal.com profile] morlock to wake me up for Lost, but I think considering my general state yesterday, he must have figured it was the better part of valor to let me sleep. I can't say he was wrong, I kinda felt like the duck at the end of Bill Bailey's "Love Ballad." You know, "The duck lies shredded into a pancake... soaking in the hoisin of your lies..." Of course, finally remembering that I still have Ativan in the house and taking some probably helped hasten and maintain my unconsciousness. Ah well. It's DVRed; I'll watch it later today after my cat scan.

Yesterday I'd had no caffiene, a pretty rude shock to the system (self inflicted but still horrid), a several hour crying jag, and just in general went through the day with a throbbing headache, while once again thinking too much. There were good points too, little ones... going to Local Burger with Carole, getting cubic shittons of boxes and a brief visit from the Foole. And amidst all that panicked thinking at forty two million miles an hour, several good things rolled to the surface. I did reconnect with [livejournal.com profile] space_craft, which I'd been meaning to do for a while. I continued to think about Nevershire and came up with more ideas for it (I think it's going to end up being a web comic due to the sheer amount of visual and geek jokes that are gonna end up involved). [livejournal.com profile] morlock and I managed to have a long conversation without fighting (okay, granted I was sobbing my face off at the time but I still consider it an achievement.) And I processed some stuff online with [livejournal.com profile] htl_1126, [livejournal.com profile] masteradept, [livejournal.com profile] verbena76 and [livejournal.com profile] bluewindkitsune.

The main thing (and I'm sorry if I scared anyone with my entries yesterday) is I need to get on out, or make progress towards doing so. I told the Foole I'd be ready to start moving stuff to Hadley week after next (by the way, if anyone else would like to donate a couple of hours and some car space, I'd be deeply appreciative), so that's a week's worth of packing up my shit to look forward to. and then once that's done, I'm out. It's past time, if my own unraveling mental state and that of those around me are any indication. I can't really hope to have any sort of new beginning succeed while I still live up in the smoldering corpse of an old dream, one that I'm still clinging to, honestly. Considering where my head is, there are some ongoing projects that I don't feel like I can willfully dedicate myself to until this chapter is officially closed and the page turned. So the job and to-do list for right now is get my scheduled medical fu dealt with, go shopping for this weekend, rise to expectations at the Flea, work like a fiend, pack like my life depended on it, file my taxes and not really worry about anything else until mission has been accomplished... anything else at this point can wait until I'm ready to deal with it.

What I'd LOVE to deal with right now is some breakfast. Stupid "nothing but liquids past 5am" restriction. Stupid cat scan. Grr.

A note about yesterday though: I'm honestly pretty amazed that most of the comments to my lapses in moral judgement with respect to information don't condemn me for what I've done. I know what I do isn't okay, and while the understanding and support is good in terms of I'm not a total freak of nature concerning this, I'm really kinda boggled that there aren't more "wow, that was jackasslike" comments there. Eh, I don't know. I usually expect more of a balance of good and bad comments, but know how hard it is to be the person saying "no, you're an asshat" goodness knows I've kept quiet on so many things in other people's journals about things I didn't agree with or that bothered me rather than "start a fight" or just offer criticism. So... I don't know. If it's so hard for me to remember that other people are wearing their big kid underwear, I can hardly expect people to remember the same for me.

Argh. okay, time to get dressed. :P


Feb. 12th, 2009 08:48 am
kjpepper: (eww)
Lemon flavored barium shake for the lose. Gag.


Feb. 12th, 2009 10:10 am
kjpepper: (om nom nom)
Cat scan done. Got a voucher for free breakfast after. Yay.

And now a long leisurely day of forcibly expelling barium and constrast media out of my system. WATER WILL BE DRUNK. Rar.
kjpepper: (lorem ipsum)
So I'm trying to cut back on a lot of "noise" from the internet - killing people I don't really talk to off my pidgin lists (some of these names have been on here since college ffs... I mean, really, who actually uses ICQ anymore?) and while I don't really believe in friends list cleanups, I am considering rejiggering my filters a bit to increase my signal to noise ratio for the next little while... which is funny considering I know I generate a lot of LJ noise. But yeah... I realize that I'm not so much in the spoon department, and one of the things overwhelming me are the ones and zeros from Das Intert├╝bz.

One thing I'm trying to do is decrease my twitter/facebook/livejournal redundancy. I've already killed all the people I don't actually know off my twitter list (well, except for Jhonen Vasquez and Jeph Jacques, but theirs are amusing), but since I know that I'm not the only one who uses twitter to update their facebook status, I'm thinking of also killing updates from those people that do and just replying to their stuff on facebook. Also amidst all of this I'm trying to update my address book with things like phone numbers, IM handles and addresses of various types. It's a lot of work, but I think it will contribute to a somewhat more organized me eventually.

Valley Folk... does anyone want to a) come over one or two nights next week, sit on my bed, and shoot the shit with me while I pack? I've kinda lost the will and the drive to do it on my own. b) risk life and limb and automobile while I get a little driving practice in? I'm still gunning for taking my driver test before I head to NY, and I'm still a little iffy on both three point turns, parallel parking, and left turns.

Ugh, you know it's bad when the main thing you have to do on your to-do list is "make lists" and you don't even want to do that. :P

Book and bedtime, methinks...
kjpepper: (Default)
cut because we care (and know you might not) )

Rock over London, rock over Chicago. LoudTwitter: Shipping tweets to your blog daily.

July 2009


Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 25th, 2017 06:04 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios