so this post, hopefully will be quick quick.
So yesterday was morlock
's nefarious plans for me and sydneycat
, and they were fun indeed. first for sydneycat
he got her a bright shiny htl_1126
and an evening to bask in her company. Then he and htl took us out to applebees (which was ok - our waitress was a bit of a space cadet and the food could have been better, but hey, chain restaurant) and then to the Moan and Dove, which I must admit I've been really wanting to go for a longass while, and that was excellent. For those of you that don't actually live here, the Moan and Dove is a bar in Amherst with a positively obscene selection of bottled beers and a warm cozy atmosphere for people to come drink, read or hang out with friends. And in my case, get sauced enough to be silly. I had this Belgian Lambic peach flavored beer that was utterly wonderful, quite a bit of sydnecat
's cider, and finished morlock
's Cape Codder, which I probably shouldn't've, but hey, I'm starting to really develop a taste for vodka. :) Anyway, a very good time was had by all and then I got to take the bear home with me for some very yummy curl up and be very cozy and happy time.
Paragraph. :) This morning I woke up early, which sorta pissed me off because I have a VERY long day today - work, then doctor (hallelujah, I am off the damned dairy restriction!), then back to work, then 6:30 to 11:30 at cinefart. Eep.
Speaking of that... really, the thing I really won't have to do after today is keep track of what I eat, which was a pain in the ass. I'm not going back to a pizza and ice cream binge or anything. I'm rather glad I cut severly back on the dairy consumption, really, it was one of those things I meant to do for a while. I mean, I didn't entirely manage to stop, there was a fair amount of accidental and intentional cheating in the past couple of months - the occasional coffee or baked thing or chocolate. But I've stopped getting cheese on or in things, and I've started paying attention to labels and avoiding stuff with dairy in it. And you know what? I don't miss it all that much. I didn't even miss the candy much after the first couple of weeks. So this did help quite a bit. And I think I'll continue to be careful about it.
Also in the course of the last two months I've figured out other stuff that fucks with me. Eggs, believe it or not. I remember being all incredulous all over timarok
years ago when he said he had an egg allergy... well I don't know if I have an allergy, but I do know that eggs definitely fuck with me. Especially in the form of mayonnaise. I can't even eat the fake stuff, I just react rather violently to it. And eggs by themselves bother me too - the couple of times I had scrambled egged it disagreed with me. And of course, there's the caffiene problem, which I have to kick all over again, but that definitely messes with me as well. All stuff I'm going to bring up to the doc later today.
Lastly... I got a reply this morning. Two actually. The first one was the expected pissyness in reaction to sending the email in question around the family, so there was some eyerolling and "Whatever" to that... but a couple of hours later I got a reply to my missive of fiery pwnage. It contained the apology I asked for, and a rather detailed explanation of the pent up frustration that drove the original message. And a few other things that had me sobbing this morning. Not from anger or sadness, just... I don't know. Relief? Not exactly... *sigh*
I don't fucking know. My family drives me utterly bonkers, anyone that knows me will confirm this in triplicate. I guess what's messing me up is that pretty much the sentiment I've gotten back from everyone is that if I'm willing to repair the bridges I've ... well, scorched
over the past few years, they will be waiting on the other side and willing to try to relate to me as the person I am now, not so much the kid I used to be. It's just going to be a monumental process to do that and it's going to be on me to come clean about some things I have been hiding, and I'm still wondering if it will be worth it. Maybe? Arrrgh.
Well, so much for being quick with the postings. The point being I'm here. Just busy.