*sigh*

Oct. 30th, 2008 12:15 am
kjpepper: (How Rude!)
well, the latter half of today was a wash. :(

had doc appointment with my hematologist at 2:30. This didn't quite jive with PVTA, so I called ahead and said I'd be about fifteen minutes late. Which I was. Of course, her office is usually full and crazy, so I wasn't too phased by the fact that I was waiting around for another half hour before I got to see her, though I was very thankful I'd rescheduled the work appointment I'd had.

Saw the blood doc, talked shop. Yes Virginia, it's official, I am off the rat poison permanently. Asked once again if I needed to do anything regarding keeping an eye on the whole factor v nonsense, and she said other than keep moving around and don't go nuts with the vitamin K not really, just holler if I notice similar shortness/chest pain to my episode last april and come in if there is any unusual pain/swelling in my legs. I mentioned the constantly receding swelling in my legs, she asked to take a look. Poked prodded and frowned at the left ankle for being puffier than the fairly normal looking right one. "I'm gonna send you down to Ultrasound just in case."

Crap. Now really grateful I'd canceled appointment.

So it was 4 when I got finished in there. Radiology couldn't fit me in until 6pm. ARGH. Cause I really you know, wanted to spend extra time at the hospital, you know? Stopped and said hi to Ann and to say I was done with anti-coag - she gave me a hug and said she would miss me. Gonna miss her too, she's been great, and I'm really happy for her that the CDH anti coagulation clinic is really taking off. She's getting a crapton of referrals - there were like 10 people in the brandy-new program when I got on warfarin, she's got like twelve times that now.

Rotted my brain with issues of Time and Newsweek. Got called in around 5:30, woot. Got to lay on a table for 45 minutes with cold goop on my legs while a tech took fun sonar pictures of my veins and took pictures of the waveform the blood makes in my femoral artery when you poke and then release it. Apparently ultrasound machines now have doppler radar in them or something - the tech mentioned it while she was taking pictures. I can has accu-weather forcast?

No blood clots found, just like last time. While I'm glad it ultimately turned out to be nothing, and kinda appreciate the necessity of the test, I'm still kinda sad that I lost the afternoon/evening because of it. Still, when I got home there was delicious roasted chicken, so it wasn't all bad.

I'm still amused that people are still all astounded by how healthy I seem to be despite having major surgery a month ago. (was it really a month already?) While I'm kinda impressed with my Timex like abilities to bounce back rather quickly after horrible things happen to me physically, I'd kinda like to not use them so much, kthx. My luck's been super good so far, I just want it to run out later rather than sooner, lol. Still, as I find out more and more about what actually went so fuckbazoink in there... yeeesh. This one was close, guys. Way too fucking close. *wibble*

And now... back to bed.
kjpepper: (Tenna (anxious))
Good: INR = 2.8.

Bad: Middle finger bruised. Right on the pad too. Typing is going to be SO much fun today.

Good: Managed to get past this morning's headnoise and get to CDH and work on time. Yes, there was a moment where that almost didn't happen. Really done with the mental illness thing, kthx.

Bad: OMG so much work today. And no breakfast.

Ugly: my work computer (SexyBeast) is making alarming my-CPU-is-going-to-explode noises. So a good chunk of my morning is going to be process hunting and killing. And did I mention no breakfast?

Good: Looking forward to AGT and other stuff tonight. Actually starting to get back into Chaotic again and actually enjoy it.

Bad: I feel like complete and utter shit both physically and mentally. Plus I'm probably going to be at work late not only tonight but quite possibly every night for the next two weeks including weekends. However...

Good: Overtime for the win. Goodness knows I need the $$$

Bad: I'm never going to sleep again.


Of course all of the above means I'll either go into radio silence (so don't be surprised if my various IM statuses read DND for the next two weeks) or I'm going to be posting every hour on the hour as a sanity saving measure. We'll see. *lines up windmill in her sights and prepares to charge*
kjpepper: (for the birds)
YAY: Quesadillas at Bueno with [livejournal.com profile] athene et al.

BOO: INR = 1.7. Up with the rat poison and back in next week for a recheck. And maybe something involving vodka tonight.
kjpepper: (OMG YAY)
I did manage to get to the hospital to see Ann yesterday, who was suffering from a severe toothache, poor thing. Anyway, INR is 2.5, smack in the middle of where it needs to be, and she said to stop freaking out so much about the green leafies and the alcohol. "just don't eat the whole bag or drink the whole bottle of smirnoff."

so. looks like chard and spinach are back on officially (though I think I'll continue avoiding kale - not that I actually like kale all that much). And next time someone brings home hard cider I can have one. Though what I'm really jonesing for right now is an Irish coffee. mmm, baileys... Anyway, just means I'm on a one drink limit instead of three.
kjpepper: (srsly...wtf?)
... from the wall of George Carlin obits. Maybe my friends list represents a particular humor demographic, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one with twelve entries out of the last 20 on that page being salutes to the cantankerously funny old man.

HOLY GOD. What possessed me to schedule four medical type appointments all on the same day? INR and actual blood draw this morning, then at 3:15 back to the hospital for a follow up with my hematologist, and then back down the hill for that appointment with chiquita banana that I missed last Wednesday. Oh yeah, and a busy workday too. Sheesh!

Well, INR is at least good - at 2.4. Ann's opinion regarding tattoos is that since if done right there isn't going to be a whole hell of a lot of bleeding, it should be okay, though she did say that none of my doctors were going to agree with her. (Love the honesty there.) She's going to research it more and get back to me next time I go in, which will be July 14th. So, if indeed it turns out I'm going to be on this stuff forever, what I'll have to do probably is have an INR the day before, my rat poison dose lowered accordingly, and make sure that whatever artist I end up going to (it'll most likely be Jeremy) is pretty fully briefed on the situation.

Blor. Need more coffee and to update my remember the milk stuff. I've been sorely neglecting my to-do lists.
kjpepper: (there it is)
  • INR = 2.6. Sharps container from the Lovenox injections finally disposed of. Don't have to see Ann again until the 23rd. Three whole weeks.

  • Twinky Assistant is listening to bad bad bad hip hop today. Oh gods.

  • Walked from the hospital to work this morning. Didn't break a sweat. Clearly I need to find longer walks. Or hillier ones. Maybe I'll walk to the Hampshire mall sometime this week. Something, cause I'm now 195lbs. WTF, body? Grrr.

  • Gonna experiment with getting at least 6 hrs of sleep at night. so... bed at 12, up at 6 (possibly with the exception of Wednesday, when I'm usually up earlier). We'll see if I can get through this week on that schedule.

  • I'm onto something with the direction I want to take with my web site, but I'm hitting a roadblock on the execution. Will work on that tonight.

  • I don't like who I am right now. At all. Going to spend the next little bit figuring out what needs changing so I can at least be okay in my own skin again. We'll see if new therapist will help with that, but the rest, I think is up to me.

  • I wonder if they started the Friday barbecue for lunch at Serios yet. See, another good thing about summer. Maybe if I find enough good things I might actually turn around my complete and utter loathing of the season this year. Maybe.
kjpepper: (for the birds)
INR = 1.9. Ann's response? "You probably could have used a stiff drink last night."

...heh.
kjpepper: (flying naked)
  • Feeeeeeeeeeeeed the vampires.... tuppence a vial.... INR=2.4. Falling a little bit, but even so, Ann thinks I can go in every other week now. I have next Thursday morning back, woot.

  • Allegra is still kinda fail. Pretty much the only difference I'm seeing right now is that my eyeballs and my sinuses are incredibly dry right now, which is probably not good as dry sinus = probable nosebleeds and nosebleeds + medically prescribed rat poison = bad. We'll see how that works out - meanwhile I've been drinking craptons of water.

  • You know... I realize y'all have been kicked out of basically every single non-residential building in existence, but really smoking under a bus shelter? RUDE. Especially if your ass ain't waiting for a bus. And it's not raining. KILL.

  • hee hee hee American Gladiators starts back up next Monday. I am quite with the ridiculously happy about this.

  • Payday tomorrow. This will be a bit of a relief, as I spent the entirety of the last one plus an additional check last pay period. And on nothing fun either. Rent, bills and an emergency. Well, okay, I bought Mario Kart, but I haven't played it yet. I kinda have this thing about playing video games in front of people and there's always people around the big TV. I'm just going to have to start getting up wicked early on Saturday morning I think.

  • Ugh. Is it the weekend yet? Blor. And it's all dark and rainy too. Meh.

  • been very busy in the headnoise department lately. May post about it later.
kjpepper: (eat your brains)
I'm not going to continue that chorus. Not because the rest of the sentiment is NSFW (when has that ever stopped me?), but because HOLY CRAP is it too damn cold to get up to any sort of shenanigans outside. It was 27 degrees this morning. Spring. Beltane, no less. HA. HA, I say.

But yes. It's May 1st. Brandy new month. No mistakes or foulups yet. All is more or less quiet on the health front (INR is 2.8 this morning), and after one and a half days of rest, I'm feeling fairly capable. It helps that I got a few backed up little items off of my to-do list yesterday. But in general... For some reason, I'm feeling very take-control-of-my-destiny today. Of course, a good chunk of that is addressing the ragged ends left by screwups in the past. *sigh* Ah well. It's all got to get done sometime, and no time like the present.

Today's also when new rules and ranking applying to our WoW guild goes into effect. Won't really know how that will shake out until June 1st, but I have my fingers crossed. Meantime, somewhere in between all the stuff already lined up this month (there's at least one definite road trip lined up, another one in the works, Dad's bitching at me to come visit him, work is gonna bite me in the ass for a little while, not to mention ZOMG I have SO MUCH TO DO) I'm gonna try to push Kayena up to mid sixties, if not crack 70. But let's be realistic here - 65 by June 1st at least. Rah.

So many projects in the works, web sites to update, things to organize, stories to write, my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wife to murder, Guildor to frame for it... gonna try and at least get a bunch of them accomplished in between the other stuff I need to get done. I might not come out of out of my room until Memorial Day at this rate. ;)

Wish me luck, and blessed Beltane to all.

ETA: oh, and IRON MAN TONIGHT. Also known as "enter a dark room full of geeks with the rest of my family and quietly have extremely naughty thoughts about Robert Downey Jr." Nyaaaaaagggggghhhhrrrrrrmmmmnomnom *drool*
kjpepper: (Dreamy)
I did indeed wind up going home yesterday. The old defective GI tract (especially, alas, the end I sit on) was hurting something fierce and I ached all over like I had the flu. Feel a bit better after collapsing for three hours upon getting home. Weird dreams notwithstanding - I dreamed that MC Hammer was standing in our kitchen wearing an apron and a red sparkly chef's hat over one of his genie-panted early 90s outfits, making stack after stack of pancakes. Like literally, every available surface of the kitchen had a plate with a steadily growing, if somewhat wobbly stack of pancakes on it. And we were trying to tell him it was okay, there was no way we could have eaten all those pancakes if we brought in the BesterMortons, their kids and a few other friends let alone the six of us. And I shit you not, Hammer's only response to the pleas to stop making pancakes was "STOP. BREAKFAST TIME." I woke up from this enough to slur the above to [livejournal.com profile] sundart and to resolve to post this to LJ when I actually woke up. Ye gods, but my head is an extremely fucked up place sometimes. Afterwards, back asleep, thankfully this time relatively dreamlessly.

Still feeling listless today, even after going back to sleep for a couple more hours yesterday after the above and getting pretty much a full night last night. It's sunny today (albeit COLD - 'sup 28 degrees??) so that should help with the whole unmotivated thing, though I think the anemia monster is raising its ugly head again. Which would make sense considering last week's Moses-must-part-the-Red-Typhoon celebrity batshit circus. I'll also have to find some way of boosting my iron without the help of the clot-promoting evil green leafies. And yes, I've already considered the possibilities of 1) rare steak and lots of it (expensive) and 2) feasting on the corpses of my multitudinous enemies (illegal, gross, and honestly, I don't have THAT many enemies or people I want dead) 3) suppliments (paranoid of taking anything without clearing it with a doctor first). Still, may ask Ann about it tomorrow, and in the meantime maybe I can get people to cook stuff using the cast iron skillet, lol.

I'm trying to actively take control of my money management these days, as I need to crawl out of my debt and actually start saving for my end of the proposed Real Camp Amoeba we're all starting to plan on having in a few years, not to mention a couple of long-term side projects I've got in the works. Plus I have a couple of expensive things to plan for this year... trips to various places and people to see once I get there, my harmanhay dress (which I need to sketch out)... we'll see where I come out by the end of the year. *crosses fingers* I just really hope I end up in a MUCH better place financially than I am right now. *sigh* of course I still feel like Once and Future Crap, and am debating staying home and working today... which is not going to help my pocketbook any.

And now, these messages.
kjpepper: (phonepost)
INR = 3.5. Dropped to 5mg & told to enjoy some of the verboten green leafy veggies. I <3 Ann.
kjpepper: (janet dr scott janet brad rocky)
Bullet points FTW.
  • Met with Ann this morning. INR is holding steady at 2.5. I've now been knocked back to a weekly INR check and I go back next Thursday. Meantime all the little pin dots in my hands are disappearing. So. This is normalcy. Woot. I also can yawn again. Finally. It's a little weird... I still freak out beneath the surface over every single twinge of weird i feel in my body... but truth be told, that's nothing new, I'd been doing that for months before the embolism.

  • I'm now going on a week of drinking coffee without additional sugar. I say additional because the creamer I use does actually have some in it, and on the occasions when I run to State Street to buy some (which I'm kinda toying with doing now) I add a pack of cocoa mix. Yeah, I was dumping in a crapton of sugar on top of that, people. But I've been cutting that out, as well as diluting the drano like concentrations of the lemonade we buy... so far so good. Don't miss it at all. I forgot and had a Pepsi yesterday, but pretty much I'm off the soda as well. We'll see if I keep this up... but since I can already tell that I'm feeling better without it I think I will.

  • speaking of feeling better. It's spring, it's warm, and i'm feeling the need to move. I'm gonna try to force myself out more and take walks. Probably with camera in tow, as I need to take pictures too. At some point, and with Ann's okay of course, I'm going to start the process of obtaining one of the Smith gym memberships too. I love their facility, and even though I'm still grumpy about alumnae now having to pay to use it, it's a good sight cheaper than any of the local places and the equipment is better too. I've pretty much decided that I want my muscle back, damn it.

  • I went to see [livejournal.com profile] lostcircuit and [livejournal.com profile] morlock's acapella group perform at the Basement Open Mic last night. I'd never actually seen [livejournal.com profile] morlock sing for real before, and he was doing the solo for Great Big Sea's "When I am King." Pretty cool stuff. The rest of the open mike could pretty much be summed up as seriously messed up potheads with guitars (the one guy singing about depressed monkeys throwing feces and shampoo was especially notable), though I did like the Salvation Army String Band. Two guys, one playing a banjo, one playing... basically a stick, a string and a washtub.

  • I've laid the foundation for a major change to my schedule this summer, provided all goes according to plan regarding my meds, INR checks, and the Quest for the Catbus (ugh, that's right, I have a driving lesson at eleven and I haven't managed to drive at all since the last one, whine.) The general plan is taking one week out of every month and spending it in New York at The House, working remotely from there. There are a few large reasons for this being a feasable arrangement, including in no particular order, seeing Dad and tacitly allowing him to keep an eye on my state of being while I'm on the warfarin, finally tackling at least some of the major project of cleaning the crap out of The House no one uses/needs anymore, getting to actually see my NYC people a little more, hanging out with [livejournal.com profile] bluewindkitsune at points that aren't weekends, and... *sigh* some regular time away from the stalemate limbo angst merry-go-round that is my relationship with [livejournal.com profile] morlock right now is probably not the worst idea ever. It really is no fun breaking up with someone you live with.

  • Still feeling antsy and all over the place. I'm going to spend today organizing both Life and Work tasks into to-do list format and try to get some things executed in the next few days. I'm jonesing for accomplishment and focus.

  • speaking of jonesing, we are apparently being invaded by Joneses this weekend. Excellent. I've been craving a cute baby to eat ...photograph? :D Not to mention between them, me and [livejournal.com profile] morlock, it's totally going to be House of Warcraft, heh heh heh.
I think that's it...
kjpepper: (click)


I seem to be on an extreme close up/small subject/random things on my desk still life jag. This morning I woke up thinking about a conversation I was having with Dad about being on Coumadin/Warfarin (he's also on it for a heart valve problem) and on a whim decided to tip my bottle over and photograph it.

and then I started messing with it in photoshop )

There truly are worse ways to cope with one's condition than to sit and try to make art out of it.

And now for something completely different! )

breakfast now, methinks.
kjpepper: (growl bitch moan)
I must say, being a doctor-mandated hemophiliac adds a very special tang of horror movie level suspense to everyday activities... like shaving one's armpits or flossing. D:


On the plus side, i joined [livejournal.com profile] thrombi_support on LJ. This place has everything if you look hard enough for it.
kjpepper: (touch my tralala...)
1) my INR's finally where it needs to be. MY LAST INJECTION IS TODAY. W00t no moar needles!

2) They say it's going to be near 70 degrees F by 5pm today. W00t again for no moar winter. Or at least it's dying painfully. Of course, we're going to have a typical New England spring I fear - snowstorm, week of temperate weather, and then the temp'll shoot up to over 9000** 90 and stay there until September.

3) Makeup Drivers Ed class tonight. Maybe horrify Ernie with my tale of woe from last week. Reminds me, I need to practice this weekend.

4) I don't know what else. But I have a feeling today's going to be a good day. We'll see if I am right or if my hopes will be cruelly dashed to pieces by the end of today.



**old obscure DBZ meme, yes, but still makes me giggle like a fool.
kjpepper: (mudflap girl)
So my doc referred me to Cooley Dickenson's brandy new Anticoagulation Program yesterday, and this morning I had an 8am appointment with the lady that runs it. Pretty much it's a program strictly for people on coumadin/warfarin, where they can be monitored, have someone to talk to and bounce changes in stuff off of. The best news is my poor skinny veins get a break, they do the INR in house and... it's a fingerstick. With a machine that spits out an instantaneous result. But yeah, I sat with her for an hour describing my experience last week and about my lifestyle. Coumadin is a weird, complicated drug to be on - any little change you make in your medication, vitamins, diet, exercise level what have you, can throw off your INR level.

So she's upped my dosage of the meds again (am now taking the maximum dosage of it, wtf.) Still have the daily belly shots to contend with. She's really nice and readily available and extremely knowledgable about this particular drug regimen, having run the ACP program in Springfield. She doesn't think I'll need to be on thinners permanently either, but does expect me to be a bit of a challenge because apparently it's harder to keep your INR's stable if you're younger than AARP general membership. Really she's the first person that's trully eased me out about all of this - I feel like it's going to be much less ignominious than first look, and knowing someone's pretty much dedicated to keeping me from either clotting again or bleeding to death is a big relief.

I walked to work today. Other than being slightly out of breath when I got here, no real trouble. Yawning and sudden deep breaths are still an issue but I'm so much better right now than I was this time last week it's amazing. Still in the process of not taking breathing for granted, which made the walk in the shyly warm springness this morning quite lovely. It was just nice to be outdoors and alive for a few moments. It's been so long.
kjpepper: (watch me YUL!!!)
It's probably a bad sign that I can't quite get past the realization that "factor five leiden" has the same scansion as "soulja boy tellem."

An Answer!

Apr. 8th, 2008 03:42 pm
kjpepper: (they don't hear your cries)
Factor V Leiden. I has it.

Rage

Apr. 7th, 2008 12:15 pm
kjpepper: (die now (eben))
Fucking doctors. What does it honestly take to get one of them to call me back?? Do I seriously need to dress in drag and do the hula outside of their offices until I either get arrested or a callback? Again with the "why the fuck did I tell my family about this again." Normally I'd be like whatever, I have an appointment tomorrow with my primary care physician but one of my sisters was all like YOU WILL CALL THE DOC TODAY AND GET THESE QUESTIONS ANSWERED FOR YOURSELF AND FOR ME AND THEN CALL ME BACK so now I'm all stressed out because I can't get shit ANSWERED today because I can't get people ON THE PHONE. ARGH.

On top of that I'm trying and failing to deal with general "Back to life, back to reality"... dreading going back to work and dealing with the week worth of crap to catch up with, money's always stressful, and in the most profound example of the universe doesn't give a shit whether you spent the last little while recovering from something potentially FATAL, I'm still dealing with relationship issues that show no sign of improving in the near future.

So... pretty much... the emergency broadcast is over, and we now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress. The mess that is my life is pretty much exactly as I left it, except I get to add brandy new medical stress to the pile.

FUCK, I'm so sick of everything I could scream or cry or break everything in my room... and there just doesn't feel like there's any end or relief in sight. And I'm on blood thinner so I can't even shut my brain up for a little while longer with vodka or even NOS (ginseng is a no no).

Reality is FAIL right now. I'm going to flounce off for a while and read Tangled Webs now.
kjpepper: (Default)
I made it through today without percoset.

And then I yawned.

*sigh*

July 2009

S M T W T F S
    1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 26th, 2017 02:34 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios