D'oh.

Jun. 17th, 2009 04:23 pm
kjpepper: (DDR)
So I've been kind of annoyed/depressed about the climbing number on the scale lately until I looked in the mirror while dressing today and realized a couple things.

1) I haven't changed clothing sizes.

2) I seem to have picked up some definition in the calves and arms, and even a little bit in the front if I suck my tummy in a bit.

Apparently working out is accomplishing something.

Muscle notwithstanding, I'm still 20ish pounds over my comfort zone. Fucking tennis rolls.
kjpepper: (mudflap girl)
Work: Still Crazy. Think I'm going to try to play a little catch up over the weekend.

Self: Still nowhere near 100%. I've been achy and tired and damn if my digestion still is on strike. I think this weekend I'm going to try to nurse it back with lots of water, pink drink and soft easily digested food. Really this weekend I'm just dedicating to resting, with a lttle work throawn in - I didn't really rest at all on my vacation, and I rather desperately need it. Huzzah three day weekend.

Oh and I dropped three more pounds. Fuck. I hate it when my weight just goes into free fall like this. Really I just hate it when it spontaneously goes in either direction, and the only effect that my efforts at actively controlling it seems to be holding it steady at a fixed point. I might have to start doing that again.

Head: I'm really trying hard to just relax and let the meds do their job, but it's really really hard. Everyone says going on zoloft for the first time will mess you up quite a bit initially and just go with the flow, but it's tough cause I keep reacting to situations like "stimulous x has been recieved. Present reaction y. Reaction Y has experienced a critical error and needs to close. Send error report?" It's really unsettling. On the onther hand I'm not panicking anymore, so I suppose that's good? Mostly I'm cycling between tired, cranky and apathetic, with the random 30 minutes of mania thrown in just to keep me guessing. *sigh* I'm trying to go with the flow here and just let my brain adjust, but this is going to be a process, I can just tell.

One good thing? I fall asleep in a snap and sleep like a rock. That's been really nice. I intend to do it more.

[livejournal.com profile] morlock and [livejournal.com profile] sundart have been really good to me in the meantime, with the head pettins, the sympathetic listening to my bitching and wibbling and the hugs when I need em. The attention right now is deeply appreciated.

So yeah, the general plan is to survive today's workday as best I can, then come home and drop into a bed for a few hours. We'll see how that works.
kjpepper: (eat your skull)
  • ALL UR ADDRESSES R BELONG 2 ME. Now to plan nefarious things to do with them. Hee hee hee

  • There may be something to this water retention theory. I got on the scale for poops and ha has this morning and noted with amusement that I've dropped five pounds in two days. Time for me and my body to have a bit of a talking to, it seems.

  • I really should not take as much twisted glee in watching the ENGINEERING DISASTERS OHNOES episodes of Modern Marvels. I mean, in 14 out of fifteen of the ones they feature, people die. And yet... Manmade things fall over, blow up, crash, collapse and in other ways FAIL spectacularly, and I can't... stop... watching. There was about four hours worth on the DVR yesterday that I watched straight through.

  • aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh why isn't it Friday yet aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. Have a bit of a to-do list for tonight, as I'm hopping on a bus tomorrow straight from work. We'll see what I manage to get done.

  • Hmm. *eyes a troublesome component of breakfast* it's going to be a little hard eating that thing of yogurt I just opened without a spoon...

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