kjpepper: (kickass (kung fu panda))
I don't use this icon enough, and since I watched the beginning of Kung Fu Panda with Charlie this evening, it seemed appropriate.

I am back in NYC after a lovely strawberry saturated day and a half at the Stronghold/House of Harmony. Forcing myself to get off my arse and out of the door was the best thing ever - Remind me to never again go more than 24 hours straight without leaving the house. It's bad for me. Even if I just go somewhere else with the laptop and sit and do what I do, at least it's enough of a change to shake me out of my own headnoise, you know? Plus how else would I discover that iCarly actually makes me giggle? (I know. I am ashamed.)

I must take a moment to quote the relevant part of [livejournal.com profile] nounsandverbs' recent description of the house and family, because it's a pretty good summary of where I spent my weekend and with whom. :)

...my FAVORITE thing to show out-of-town guests is my own house. We have it all: 5 acres, rolling hills, a pond, an archery range, and a mountain in the backyard. We also have kids, cats, a dog, and a house full of geeks who almost definitely share whatever fandom or weird interest you have. (Have a collection of stuffed Smurfs from 1983? We've got that. Like to throw them up in the air and bullseye them with an 8-inch hunting knife? We've got that too.)

We have the best food, best hospitality, and warmest companionship I know of. This family is what I most love to show off.

Yeah, that about covers it.

Anyway, my weekend, in bullet points:

  • strawberry saturated was not a figure of speech. This happened to be the birthday weekend of Gwendolyn, the second youngest Bestermortonmonster, and strawberry was the weekend's theme. That meant me bringing up a Junior's strawberry cheesecake (I seem to always bring sweets with me when I come up these days...) for dessert last night, there was berry picking early this morning, which, I, alas, missed due to not getting to bed until five something o'clock, strawberries and whipped creme for dessert, and tomorrow Gwennie will have a strawberry themed birthday party. They picked a cubic crapton of berries, btw... It's funny, strawberries and raspberries were never something I liked until fairly recently - I always say that I like berry flavored things but not the berries themselves. This I'm finding more and more to not be true - I will actually quite happily eat strawberries until I get sick now. And yay, they are in season!

  • <don_lafontaine>In a house.... comprised entirely of geeks and children...</don_lafontaine> serious nerdage of some sort is bound to happen. [livejournal.com profile] gryphon_m got the new iphone yesterday, and it was quite with the shiny and the ooh and the ahh, but more important, he introduced me to the Koi Pond and the Lightsaber apps, which makes my little sith heart go squee. Plus the lightsaber app turned out to be the gift that kept on giving, as all four of the kids took turns borrowing my iPod and assassinating each other via virtual lightsaber. Yes, I let a two and a half year old, a seven year old, a nine year old and an an eleven year old flail wildly with my Preciousssss. It was hilarious (except when they fought over it), deal.

  • The entire Stronghold is alive with fireflies at night. Multiple moments were had in the past 36 hours of me standing in the middle of the pitch black driveway, watching the entire place twinkle.

  • Mayhem will ensue if you consent to let two overexcited little girls play dress up with you. Just saying. Part of today ended with me with a scarf woven through my dreads, wearing one of Celia's skirts as a neck ruff and a couple of blankets as a dress. There is photographic evidence of this; I'm sure [livejournal.com profile] purpura will post it at some point.

  • Speaking of which, I just went through my camera. There were several nice pics of the girls horsing around on it.

    pink and purple )

    *sigh* I need to shop around for picture hosting. I don't like either Facebook, LJ or Twitpic, and I'm not exactly nuts about Flickr either. There's always, I suppose, the interface I built for the Order of Anami and refined for [livejournal.com profile] bluewindkitsune's web site, but I haven't built something into it that would allow me to toss up things in bulk. I suppose there's also Picasa. What do y'all use?

    ETA: That and DEAR GODS I want a new lens. I'm getting really annoyed with the one that came with the Hatemonger. Much of the times my close ups ain't close enough (especially when I'm outside) and my wides ain't wide enough either. Grrr, mad with the frustrated. Especially since I really don't have $600 to drop on a new one.

  • Celia actually helped me develop a story idea while I was camped out on the couch. I'm going to see if I can get that underway while I'm in MA. There was also a rather scintillating conversation about the woes of orthodontics.

  • Cap'n Jack = cutest kitten EVAR. Seriously, I'm now rather regretting not taking one of Serenity's little fluffballs.

In back home news:
  • I am thinking this trip to MA will be the swan song of the purple backpack. I'd been really attached to it, since LLBean doesn't make this backpack in purple anymore (and I'm sorry, what they call "lilac" does NOT cut it), but the zipper on the front pocket's been busted for the past four years (*shakes fist at person who broke it*) and frankly I'm never going to send it in for repair, who am I kidding. Plus this afternoon I'd discovered that a bottle of top coat leaked all over the extreme front pocket, so basically right now I'm like fuck it, time for a new one. Waffling between the super deluxe size and the Turbo transit size. *sigh* just one more thing... why does everything and its mama need replacing this year when I'm about the least able to deal with it? god. I suppose that's how it usually works out, FML.

  • speaking of FML, lightning bugs apparently weren't the only insects afoot outside. *itchscritchscratch*

  • There is definitely something in The House triggering my allergies. I was totally fine until I got back; twenty minutes later achoo achoo itchy itchy *rub rub rub* damn it *zyrtec*. More reason to get out of here, I suppose.

  • I came home to find the third Sano Ichiro novel on my bed waiting for me. I ordered it two months ago because the library didn't have it. I had since given up and moved on with the series; I'm now on book five. FAIL, lol, but that's book rate for you, slow as uphill flowing molasses. That said I'll read it anyway just for the sake of completeness.

Tomorrow (today?) shopping, brunch for Dad, workout, work, packing, packing, oh god packing, trying not to let my squee burst out of my chest a la Alien... Trying to decide, considering I am currently wired on Dunks, whether I should try to sleep now or if I should try to use my caffeine-fueled awake and do something productive. hmm, decisions...
kjpepper: (i want it now)
grumble grumble. I've already spent $50 out of my paycheck, and this before I think it's even hit my bank account yet. But, alas, two items in particular have been necessary for a while, and tonight I have finally lost my patience for doing without. So in about a week, there shall be five pairs of Victoria's Secret high leg briefs (when you have Granny's Attic's worth of junk in your trunk you learn to find and stick with the underwear that both looks cute and doesn't ride up) and a replacement carafe for my coffeepot arriving in the mail. *glare around at the Amoeba* if y'all break this one, I'll kill ya. They don't replace those for free yaknow. But yay, new undies. I've needed those for a while - I don't know what beast in this house loves high leg panties so much but it's gotten to the point where I've got three pairs left and a bunch of hipster briefs that right now I'm a hair too chubby to wear comfortably these days. Seriously, I'd love to know where they all went, seeing as I haven't been throwing them at rock stars or donating them for use in gachupon machines. I'm sure a coupe of pairs here and theree got left at The House during one of my periodic stays, but that's doing me a world of good right now. Yes that is sarcasm.

I think... maybe... not sure, the Allegra's beginning to work. While i dislike feeling headachey and dried out around the eyeballs, it _is_ preferable by a small margin (not by a small margarine) to having them be gluey and itchtastic. I'm going to stick with it for now. Chances are by the time I've gotten up the oomph to declare it fail or success the lilacs will have died off, thus signalling the end of my seasonal allergies for 2008. Ye gods, how I hate you late april and may. Hate.

I have decided currently that life is a bitch and the only way to deal with it is to get all A Pimp Named Slickback all over its ass. *chuckle* Seriously though... there have been a couple of introspective thoughtful posts regarding choice and sacrifice from over yonder at that there Harmony Drive place, and I've been sort of mulling over what choices that I've made along the way in the past ten years and change have landed me here, and of course wondering what I could have done better along the way. But mostly wondering what's next, as generally the projects I've devoted myself in the last decade seem done, with wildly varying degrees of success or failure. I sorta feel a bit like Inigo at the end of the Princess Bride, devoted his life to killing Count Rugen and is suddenly, for the first time in 20 years, is at loose ends. I guess at this point I'm waiting for something, even if it's just my own consciousness, to ask me if I've ever considered piracy.

In a lot of ways I do know what's next. The planning for the permanent Camp Amoeba is underway, as is the planning for Amoeba 2.0. I love the crazy pile of people I live with, and fully look foward to seeing what sort of fuzzy wolf spawn [livejournal.com profile] anzovin and [livejournal.com profile] sundart will produce. So I know that somehow my future will remain tied to the folks I call home. However within that framework, there are a lot of undefined variables that are blinking at me rather urgently that basically come down to I haven't the faintest blessed idea what to do with myself and who I want to be within that. And above and beyond that... are any of my options right now even possible? or am I having the whole delusional pipe dream thing again? I have been known to take an idea and run with it. Fast. Fast enough to make hitting the brick wall of reality check extremely fucking painful. Also my main relationships need some severe paradigm adjustments before they continue, and I haven't the faintest how to do that either. Spthugh.

Part of me is trying to tell me not to worry about the big picture so much, that if I break it down into smaller accomplishments, the big picture will take care of itself. Problem is... last time I chose to take that approach, I ended up somewhere I didn't like mentally and emotionally. Which isn't to say that the choices made then weren't the right ones, but the end results... *sigh* I don't know. A lot of the time I feel like I could have gotten the same result at less cost to myself, maybe even better results. Sorta like the difference between shopping the no frills aisle at Pathmark and any aisle of, say.... Gristedes or Dean and Deluca. (as an aside, man, I wish someone would post the old D'Agostino's commercial with the cartoon of all these ladies trying to kiss the butcher... does anyone else remember those?)

Hmm. You know it's babble time when I start comparing my life to supermarket chain merchandise. Clearly time to go the hell to bed. But yeah. Need to know what's next, and when that's set, work on getting there.
kjpepper: (flying naked)
  • Feeeeeeeeeeeeed the vampires.... tuppence a vial.... INR=2.4. Falling a little bit, but even so, Ann thinks I can go in every other week now. I have next Thursday morning back, woot.

  • Allegra is still kinda fail. Pretty much the only difference I'm seeing right now is that my eyeballs and my sinuses are incredibly dry right now, which is probably not good as dry sinus = probable nosebleeds and nosebleeds + medically prescribed rat poison = bad. We'll see how that works out - meanwhile I've been drinking craptons of water.

  • You know... I realize y'all have been kicked out of basically every single non-residential building in existence, but really smoking under a bus shelter? RUDE. Especially if your ass ain't waiting for a bus. And it's not raining. KILL.

  • hee hee hee American Gladiators starts back up next Monday. I am quite with the ridiculously happy about this.

  • Payday tomorrow. This will be a bit of a relief, as I spent the entirety of the last one plus an additional check last pay period. And on nothing fun either. Rent, bills and an emergency. Well, okay, I bought Mario Kart, but I haven't played it yet. I kinda have this thing about playing video games in front of people and there's always people around the big TV. I'm just going to have to start getting up wicked early on Saturday morning I think.

  • Ugh. Is it the weekend yet? Blor. And it's all dark and rainy too. Meh.

  • been very busy in the headnoise department lately. May post about it later.
kjpepper: (base kleo)
  • So far the Allegra is made of fail. I'm going to wait and see on it for a few days, but the full blown allergy attack I had upon going to bed last night certainly was NOT what I had in mind when I switched up meds. I'm praying it's just a reaction to the last of the zyrtec leaving my system and the allegra not kicking in yet. We'll see where I am on Friday.

  • Had a weird dream where a bunch of geeks were telling me that the GLaDOS impression I've been cultivating for the past couple of weeks sucked and I should give up trying. Somehow in the dream I was really disappointed by this, apparently my subconscious is really attached to the idea of sounding like a psychotic computer.

  • Twinky Assistant started off with lounge again this morning, and has now switched to "le dance et le trance... nonstop!" If the light switch weren't on the other side of the room I'd be very tempted to throw a light switch rave. Also he's switched up his Adium sound theme to Super Mario World - listening to him IM people is much with the amusing.

  • You sorta have to feel sorry for the Mountbatten-Windsors. Of all the European royal families currently "in power" as it were, they kinda look like the rest of the families ruled by consensus to beat them all with the ugly stick with double hits administered by the Grimaldis.

  • Stepped on the scale last night for pewps and ha has, and yikes, yeah, my weight's been on an upswing - I've jumped to 192lbs. I've felt pretty bloated and sluggish for the past couple of weeks, so I now know I'm not crazy. I'm currently figuring out what I want to do about it, as I've got pretty triggery issues concerning things like diets, and no, saying it's for the purposes of "getting healthier" doesn't usually cut it with me, it still kinda freaks me the hell out. On the other hand, I'm wondering if trying to stick to some sort of goal or a plan might actually _help_ with that if it actually succeeds - a good part of my issues concerning my initial weight loss dealt with not feeling in control of my body, so maybe slimming down and toning up on my own terms might relieve that somewhat. Regardless, I definitely need to step up on the whole buying a Smith gym membership and slicing the sugar out of my diet again, as I really dislike being this, well, jiggly. That and there seems to be a general trend in the Amoeba towards getting all exercised... might as well join the bandwagon and see if I can't get back down to 175.

And now - back work and sniffling and hating the new meds.
kjpepper: (OMG YAY)
I will be picking up some happy happy Allegra on my way home from work tonight. Pray it works.
kjpepper: (masstransiscope)
Once upon a time, when I worked one summer with my sister at Downstate medical center (no no, the other sister) I would run out of things to do. When that would happen I would wander the building, pondering the locked doors containing hazardous materials, peeking into the labs, and a lot of time pondering the mystery of the fourth floor, which was completely inaccasseible by elevator and had an area 51 like security lock if you tried to access it by stairs. In my wanderings I passed the offices of various faculty, one of whom had a note on his/her door reading "I have gone to find myself. If I should come back before I return, please ask me to wait."

Last night, [livejournal.com profile] sundart and I went for a walk. It was a nice night for that sort of thing here, just warm enough. And no mosquitoes yet, though the lilacs are all yay bloom bloom bloom and my eyeballs are like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and the rest of me is like HISTAMINE PARTY UP IN THIS BITCH and I'm like *cry* Note to self. Call Dr. Chmura. Beg for an Allegra scrip.

...but I digress.

We talked. A lot. She's been unhappy with the state of our relationship. I've been unhappy, period. It's not just the things with [livejournal.com profile] morlock, which I just realized is about to wear on into its sixth month, though that's a big part of it and certainly triggered much of the differential weather in my brain. (side note - what exactly is differential weather? Signs point to people saying something wrong.) Mostly what I've been thinking about is that apparently [livejournal.com profile] anzovin has seen me downshift from a much more optimistic person into a wellspring of angsty cynicism in the time he's known me, so apparently things have been slowly going fuckbazoink over the last four years. I don't like that. I don't like the person I am right now, I don't like the mess my head has become. I don't like feeling like I am here now and I want to be here and yet like I lost me along the way.

So, I've been considering how to find myself. I know part of that will be going home to NY for chunks of time this summer, as I always feel right with the concrete and subway under my feet. I also need to dedicate some time to getting my muscle back - I'm gaining weight again, and I'm annoyed cause it's all chub and not so much with the useful. And I think I need to just chain myself to my desk chair, unplug the interbutts from my computer and not let myself up until I get some writing done. But there's more to it than that... I don't know. *sigh* I need to get my mind right, figure out what I want and what I need, figure out how to get at least enough of those things to approach being an actual person again, and then come back to my lovers and family and do the houses and kids thing, cause I can't do it like this.
kjpepper: (i want it now)

It begins, ladies and gentlemen, my month of itchy itchy hell. And despite popping zyrtec faithfully every 12 hours or so, I still woke up with my eyes glued shut this morning. I swear, Claritin and it's generic ilk worked a shitton better when it was prescription, not over the counter, that and I'm pretty sure it cost a fuckton less than 27 dollars for 30 caplets. *sneeze* fuckers.

In other news... I've returned to another album from the past: Ani DiFranco's Dilate. Generally a bad thing state of mind wise, because it's not only probably her last consistantly excellent album, but it's still the most perfect dysfunctional relationship/breakup album out there. And I really like her surreally interesting take on "Amazing Grace."
kjpepper: (curse! curse!)
I don't understand how I can be taking benadryl and claritin about once every eightish hours and still get next to no sleep due to la grippe, hmph, la grippe, la post-nasal drip, and the the itchies and the sneezies and the sinus that's really a pip. (cookie to who gets the reference) The damn trees can really STOP FORNICATING IN MY OXYGEN. Ugh.

Anyway, yeah, bad night. My alarm went off this morning and my sleep deprived brain and my red, glued shut eyes both said "oh hell no." Which just made the concept of staying home today set in stone instead of casually toyed with. I am currently doing laundry in a fit of pique, as I've decided that my bedding is a hotbed of allergens and must be scourged of dander and airborne histamines, though this decision was somewhat crimped by the fact that [livejournal.com profile] anzovin has not yet returned out detergent. *sigh*

Well, hopefully in between sneezes and frantic bouts of ill-advised eye rubbing I can get some productive stuff done today. Besides the laundry.

Goddamn May

May. 5th, 2006 10:58 am
kjpepper: (verklempt)
I didn't go to bed until 2 last night, and basically had a four hour allergy attack right afterwards that killed any hope of sleeping that I might have entertained. finally got up at 6:15 for an ice pack and an Alavert, took the pill and took the ice pack to bed with me. With cold gel pressed against my screaming eyeballs, I managed to sleep at last. Alas, I did have to get back up about an hour later. So now here I sit wondering why I didn't call the fuck in, especially since my eyeballs still feel a bit like someone dropped fire ants into them.

That's fucking it. Lunchtime I'm making a pilgrimage to CVS and buying some Claritin D-24 and Naphcon-A.

Stupid spring.
kjpepper: (got PMS?)
See icon as to why. Yeah. Pretty much this weekend I'm not going to really leave the house or see anyone. PMS + allergies does not make for a happy Andee, and rather subjecting folk to my grumpy self, I think a bit of sequestering might be good. *sigh* as I said to at least two people, I always find it amusing that my hatred of trees tends to peak around Earth Day. grr.

donations of chocolate, potent liquor, and medium rare steak are of course enthusiastically welcomed.
kjpepper: (demongo)
feh. Allergy attack not fun. I am all itchy and snotty all over the place and have been since about 7:30. ug. *sniffle*

Did the bicycle equivelant of speeding down the hill to Modern Myths, returned clutching the 9th volume ot Transmetropolitan in my hot little hand, along with the second trade volume of GloomCookie, which is fun fluffy comic reading, especially if one of your main activities is laughing at them thar wacky crazy Goth kids and their poetry. :) Oh the sublime horror that is Vermilion. He might as well stand up on stage, strap Poetry Appreciation devices to everyone around him and begin reciting "O freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me . . ."

damn it, once upon a time I knew the whole thing. And I'm too lazy to go fish out my copy of the Ultimate HHG. Not to mention bending over to fish it off the shelf its on would not only wake up [livejournal.com profile] sundart but will disturb the precarious equilibrium of the fluid in my nasal cavity. Oh well. Long story short, both compilations were worth the money spent and the forty odd minutes it took me to read both of them. That's the one problem with comic books - they go by so quickly . . .

Head is stuffy and I feel sad. Need to find actual tissues, as paper towels too rough on poor sensitive nosie. Ouch. Need some filthy assistants to bring me tissues.


May. 19th, 2003 07:32 am
kjpepper: (Default)
Remember how I've been trying to stay more or less dairy free for the past couple of weeks? (This is blatently not counting the couple of small ice cream indulgences) I just picked up my allergy meds and read the inactive ingredients - one of them is lactose monohydrate.

Don't ask me why my allergy pills have processed cow in it, but I found it funny as hell.


May. 10th, 2003 11:13 pm
kjpepper: (hatter)
Damn you trees, damn you, damn you! I realize that we need you to keep our planet nice and yummy for creatures of all sorts otherwise the world will turn into a barren wasteland a la Tank Girl, but considering what I have to go though whilst you propagate yourselves, that could be an alternative I could put up with. *sniffle*

I am amused by the randomness of last night's posts. I was dog/catsitting again and consuming, via laptop and large TV with fully loaded digital cable package, lots of senseless media to stave off the empty silence of the rather large house in which I was staying. It worked sort of, and now I've got quite a list of music to search for, though despite two trips to Sprawl-Fart today, no copy of Coming to America is yet in my possession. May be hitting half.com later.

The relief of coming home this morning to breakfast and homies was brutally shattered as it was revealed that we were not painting the front hallway as I thought, but heading over to the old stupid apartment to spackle. Which by itself is lame, but doable, but it seemed like everyone and their mamas had interesting insects felching around in their recti today which only made the ignominy worse. Luckily we did get the spackling done, plus made a comprehensive list of what was left to be done at the old place so that our maladjusted lint ball of a previous landlady can let us move on with our lives. I realized that I do better at doing truly lame things alone, as no one has to share my misery, nor am I leeching off of anyone else's. Which is why I'm looking forward to going back and doing some of the work by myself later this week. But that will be good - even though I will piss and moan about as much as I did today about having to do the work, a) no one will have to listen to me, and b) at least I will have mentally psyched myself to do so, unlike today, where I thought I would be doing one sorta lame thing and then winding up doing something totally different and if possible, more ignominious. Oh shit, that reminds me - I'm going to need to obtain some sort of large floor scrubbing type apparatus for when I come back and do some serious Cindernigga bullshit later on in the week. Anyway, I guess I was just torqued as I thought that I would be spending a day fixing up the current house so that I could enjoy being home after 24 hours. Hélas, non. *shrug* Tomorrow promises to be reasonably more low key, thank the gods.

We did come home after a while and after Monica fed us sandwiches, the rest of the Casita went out to attend to our yard, for there was mowing, raking, pruning and other stuff to do, but by then my mood and my allergies had me fully in their evil clutches so I rather selfishly avoided that whole jamboree, opting instead for a nap and a period of wallowing in my own allergic misery. Quite a few hours later, I'm feeling somewhat better, but not willing to rejoin society. I dunno. I guess while I was running around trying to fill up ten million screw holes I was thinking far too many nasty thoughts about everyone I was close to (and I do mean everyone - I was not in a happy place) and thinking about how I kind of wanted to run away to the woods and forget that there were six billion other human beings on this planet besides me, because all humans seemed to be good for were drooling, pooping themselves, and finding some reason to hate all over themselves and each other. Of course, then if I ran away and did that, I would have to deal with my own little voices that insist on hating all over me and everything I do. Case in point: to top things off today, towards the end of the spackling cha cha [livejournal.com profile] beatgoddess pointed out in a not-at-all-mean way that I had missed a couple of nail holes in a couple of places above my usual line of vision, and it felt like everything inside me kinda snapped, and every voice, both internal and external, that had ever criticized me about not doing something perfectly on the first shot all began yelling at me about how I was a slipshod failure that couldn't effectively follow through on anything. I filled the missed nail holes, but since then I haven't really made the effort for positive social interaction. Of course, without it, there is nothing really to distract me from the vast to-do lists I have to make for myself and somehow get done before I go to New York next Saturday for the belated Mother's Day thing the Clan is having. This upcoming week is going to suck, and I'm starting to wonder why I'm ever surprised by that observation. It seems like I always expect the next day/week/month/year to be better than the last, and it invariably just isn't, and that realization crushes my will to persevere that much more. That and I'm really sad that I never seem to have anything good to post here. I'd like something amazing and happy to happen to me, preferably soon,

Thank you for calling Death. Will this be pickup or delivery?

Delivery. Please.

July 2009



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