kjpepper | junk mail, volume lost count

Teach your prick to work better - and of course the first thing I think of is CSNY: "Teach your wangers well/Their penile hell did slowly go by/Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry/So just look at them and sigh and know they love you..."

Make Me Gag On Your Thing - I can think of so many more easily accesible things to gag on. Try brushing your teeth very vigorously sometime.

HoHoHo, Farting Santa Claus is here - You know, let's think about this. You're a cheerfully rotund old white guy in a red and white fur suit that probably weighs more than you do and your sovereign duty is that one night a year you have to rapidly squeeze yourself down and then back up several hundreds of million chimneys without getting stuck or falling behind schedule. Considering the tight confines presented by a narrow chimney and large man, farting is probably a very serious occupational hazard.

mating season all year pupa inevitabilities - obviously some species of insects mating if there are inevitable pupae involved.

c0ck-karate lessons - And now, our feature presentation: Crouching Ballsack, Hidden Wanger!

Educational fornication penguins stark lived atrocity helicopter - the educational atrocity of penguins fornicating starkers in a helicopter. What is the world coming to?

this is Kat let's go out and have mmmm :-) - have mmmm? Is this the verbal equivelant of bleeping out naughty words?

Fwd: Educated from the best slide humped - You know, I had better things to do with slides than hump them. Like, um, sliding on them and stuff.

Re: catawba promulgate - Cowabunga, dude.

Hellllo, aaaas you requuuuest ouuur offfffer - Whoooo IIIIIII aaaaaam thhheee gggghoooooost of jjjjuuuuunk mmmmaaaaaail paaaaaaaaaast... The deeeeeeaaaaaad piiiiraaaaate Rrrrrooobbbberts is heeeeeere for yoouur soooooooouuuuuulllll....