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Dark is the night for all
Aug. 14th, 2003 12:14 amThey tell you when you're a kid growing up in the Big Bad City (which is neither as Big nor as Bad as the adults would have you think) never to go out at night. That's simply asking the universe to send you a throat slasher or a serial rapist or something. And if you think the City's bad, just think about all kinds of crazies that lie in wait in the midst of dark woods.
When I first got to Girl Land, I was petrified of walking around Northampton at night, due to the fucked up conditioning at home. And forget the woods past Paradise Pond, unless I was armed with a flashlight and a friend.
My. I didn't know what I was missing.
Tonight I went a little nuts so I departed the house in search of someplace quiet to collect myself. I wound up sitting near the pond in the swing for about half an hour, not coming to any helpful conclusions, until finally I figured it was time to get up and head home, lest the family worry. Except on a whim, I took the woods home, rather than the familiar, well lighted streets.
Yes this is a big deal. I can all too easily remember the clingy trepidation of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sundarts and my first trip down that now familiar path after darkness had fallen for the night, convinced something horrendous would emerge from the shadowy trees to devour both of us. Nothing ever did, of course, but I was always a little scared. Until tonight, when I, not even armed with a flashlight and a buddy, ventured to take the path by the river that leads almost from Smith to our front door. It took about twenty minutes of wide eyed wonder that I was actually doing this all by myself, and though I was scared, it was good excited-and-scared, and oodles better than the feeling I had been trying to escape from earlier. And there was a mostly full moon out, so armed with its pale, shadowly light and my own sense of bravado (as opposed to actual bravery), I set off down the dark path towards home, enjoying the crickets and the grumpy noises of bullfrogs in the pond and thinking about how six years ago I could never have conceived of doing this. I arrived home with a little of my own heartache eased, and a grinning sense of accomplishment. Go me!
When I first got to Girl Land, I was petrified of walking around Northampton at night, due to the fucked up conditioning at home. And forget the woods past Paradise Pond, unless I was armed with a flashlight and a friend.
My. I didn't know what I was missing.
Tonight I went a little nuts so I departed the house in search of someplace quiet to collect myself. I wound up sitting near the pond in the swing for about half an hour, not coming to any helpful conclusions, until finally I figured it was time to get up and head home, lest the family worry. Except on a whim, I took the woods home, rather than the familiar, well lighted streets.
Yes this is a big deal. I can all too easily remember the clingy trepidation of
sundarts and my first trip down that now familiar path after darkness had fallen for the night, convinced something horrendous would emerge from the shadowy trees to devour both of us. Nothing ever did, of course, but I was always a little scared. Until tonight, when I, not even armed with a flashlight and a buddy, ventured to take the path by the river that leads almost from Smith to our front door. It took about twenty minutes of wide eyed wonder that I was actually doing this all by myself, and though I was scared, it was good excited-and-scared, and oodles better than the feeling I had been trying to escape from earlier. And there was a mostly full moon out, so armed with its pale, shadowly light and my own sense of bravado (as opposed to actual bravery), I set off down the dark path towards home, enjoying the crickets and the grumpy noises of bullfrogs in the pond and thinking about how six years ago I could never have conceived of doing this. I arrived home with a little of my own heartache eased, and a grinning sense of accomplishment. Go me!
