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Underwater
Oct. 16th, 2003 01:22 amThe past 32 hours have been really really surreal, kind of like my reality was shot through one of those soft focus filters, with an early film technique of smearing Vaseline around the edges of the lens to signify oooooh, dream sequence. Being somewhat sick was the primary cause of this, as I developed a seriously stuffy nose last night which led or contributed to a restless night of vivid dreams which in turn led to me being twitchy and achy and exhausted all day today. Which didn't help my mood any. Except for a little bit last night where I was rather euphoric, I've spent the day in a quasidepressed state. All right, scratch the quasi. Ugh.
Last night I came home and busied myself about the kitchen making dinner and washing dishes in advance, as I had plans for a good chunk of my evening. My industriousness paid off as I was done with everything I wanted to do by 6 (with a little surprise help from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sundart earlier). Plans suffered a minor delay, which pissed me off to a surprising level, but timarok made up for it later.
Is it just me that gets twitchy about being in Wal-Mart for too long? I swear it's the stark white lighting, but something about being there for more than a half hour makes my mood crash and the rest of me to get anxious to the point of Have-to-leave-now. It was a lot worse in the K-Mart that used to be in the Hampshire Mall that has been replaced by Target, and I think it was the light then too - the ceilings were lower so the florescence was more relentless. Anyway,timarok and I went over there in search of pillows for him to pack his computers with, twine and distilled water by request of beatgoddess, with a quick stop in the DVD aisle to have a lively discussion about movies we'd seen (and for me to sternly talk myself out of buying anything). Which was about when I realized that I was having my usual attack of box-store-itis. Being horrified by this week's Weekly World News, getting the hell out of Wal-Mart, and watching timarok sail through the parking lot riding the back of the shopping cart all the way to his truck helped, especially the latter - it's hella endearing to watch a six foot military guy act like an eight year old kid.
The rest of the evening felt much like the weather, like a storm blowing in. I wound up crashing much earlier than usual - around 11:30 - and woke up at 7 still tired, as I think my stuffy nose prevented me from sleeping too well, though I did have some Technicolor bright dreams that I can only remember wisps of, though they did involve at one point searching for some precious item in a Wal-mart like place and for some reason the song "Wicked Little Town" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I was immediately displeased by the dark cloudiness of everything upon waking - jeez. It's almost winter, and there's precious little light anyway, and I resent being robbed of some of it by recalcitrent rain.
Work was fairly uneventful, though I felt tired and fluish for most of it, which probably contributed to my being twitchy and sad, though thank the Goddess I had the sense not to try to alleviate it with caffiene. Or maybe it was just that the very idea of coffee was revolting today. At any rate, caffiene would have made it worse, so I endured the icky feeling until I was able to go home. Ran a couple of errands on my lunch break involving picking up one camera, dropping off another, procuring lunch, and picking up a copy of Anne Bishop's House of Gaian, which Deb over atspacecrime was kind enough to email me about last week. In my roamings I ran into inle_rah at Thornes, who chatted and walked with me down to Cornucopia as I procured my O'Soy fix. It was good to see her, as she shook me briefly out of my funk. Also ran into beatgoddess' friend Olivia in Thornes as well. After work, I indulged in a bit more consumer therapy and bought volumes 3 and 4 of Strangers in Paradise, which is perfect reading when you go home ill, cranky, and antisocial.
My, but there was WIND today! I glanced up from my monitor this afternoon to look out of the huge window in my office to see a positive shower of orange and yellow leaves flying past my window. Something about seeing that made me wicked happy for a moment. Ah, autumn... but it wasn't just that - it was some wind you didn't want to fuck with, as I found out upon leaving work. At some point that afternoon the wind had ripped the heavy wooden sign for one of the antique dealers across the street clear off of its chains, and it was smashed and splintered all over the sidewalk. Considering the amount of foot traffic that block gets, including quite a few kids coming home from the nearby Bridge Street School, it's lucky that didn't come down on somebody's head.
Heh, that triggered a memory. When I was four years old, possibly younger, my mother took me to the lumberyard with her to get some supplies - I don't remember for what, though considering the time frame it was probably to help my Dad renovate the limestone down the street from us that had been split into apartments and then left to him by his family. Anyway there was a wicked bad rainstorm happening and we were standing outside in the actual lumberyard part of the store, and a big gust of wind blew a piece of wood off of a pile - not a two by four, though that's what I'm tempted to say it was, it was thinner and wider than that, but wicked long - and I just remember standing there watching it as it sailed towards my head and finally cracked me one. I don't remember crying or anything, though considering I was four and just freshly beaned by a super heavy piece of wood I must have. I do remember the fuss that insued, my mother having hysterics lots of concerned employees hovering around, a couple of paramedics shining lights in my eyes and asking me questions to make sure I was okay. Which I was. I distinctly remember wondering what the hell the big deal was.
Came home, found an upsetbeatgoddess. Made her tea, and we sat at the kitchen table and talked for about an hour and a half. She then departed to pick up primitive_boy, and sundart came home to find me tucked under the covers with Strangers in Paradise and moping fiercely. Neither of us ultimately wanted to make dinner, so I ordered chinese for the family, forced myself to eat some, and then rolled up in my brown comforter and went to sleep. Woke up around 12:20, feeling a little better, but glad for the silence of a sleeping household. And my nose has improved some too. Instead of being totally blocked, it's now running. Ah well, at least I can breathe now. More or less.
Last night I came home and busied myself about the kitchen making dinner and washing dishes in advance, as I had plans for a good chunk of my evening. My industriousness paid off as I was done with everything I wanted to do by 6 (with a little surprise help from
sundart earlier). Plans suffered a minor delay, which pissed me off to a surprising level, but timarok made up for it later.Is it just me that gets twitchy about being in Wal-Mart for too long? I swear it's the stark white lighting, but something about being there for more than a half hour makes my mood crash and the rest of me to get anxious to the point of Have-to-leave-now. It was a lot worse in the K-Mart that used to be in the Hampshire Mall that has been replaced by Target, and I think it was the light then too - the ceilings were lower so the florescence was more relentless. Anyway,
timarok and I went over there in search of pillows for him to pack his computers with, twine and distilled water by request of beatgoddess, with a quick stop in the DVD aisle to have a lively discussion about movies we'd seen (and for me to sternly talk myself out of buying anything). Which was about when I realized that I was having my usual attack of box-store-itis. Being horrified by this week's Weekly World News, getting the hell out of Wal-Mart, and watching timarok sail through the parking lot riding the back of the shopping cart all the way to his truck helped, especially the latter - it's hella endearing to watch a six foot military guy act like an eight year old kid.The rest of the evening felt much like the weather, like a storm blowing in. I wound up crashing much earlier than usual - around 11:30 - and woke up at 7 still tired, as I think my stuffy nose prevented me from sleeping too well, though I did have some Technicolor bright dreams that I can only remember wisps of, though they did involve at one point searching for some precious item in a Wal-mart like place and for some reason the song "Wicked Little Town" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I was immediately displeased by the dark cloudiness of everything upon waking - jeez. It's almost winter, and there's precious little light anyway, and I resent being robbed of some of it by recalcitrent rain.
Work was fairly uneventful, though I felt tired and fluish for most of it, which probably contributed to my being twitchy and sad, though thank the Goddess I had the sense not to try to alleviate it with caffiene. Or maybe it was just that the very idea of coffee was revolting today. At any rate, caffiene would have made it worse, so I endured the icky feeling until I was able to go home. Ran a couple of errands on my lunch break involving picking up one camera, dropping off another, procuring lunch, and picking up a copy of Anne Bishop's House of Gaian, which Deb over at
spacecrime was kind enough to email me about last week. In my roamings I ran into inle_rah at Thornes, who chatted and walked with me down to Cornucopia as I procured my O'Soy fix. It was good to see her, as she shook me briefly out of my funk. Also ran into beatgoddess' friend Olivia in Thornes as well. After work, I indulged in a bit more consumer therapy and bought volumes 3 and 4 of Strangers in Paradise, which is perfect reading when you go home ill, cranky, and antisocial.My, but there was WIND today! I glanced up from my monitor this afternoon to look out of the huge window in my office to see a positive shower of orange and yellow leaves flying past my window. Something about seeing that made me wicked happy for a moment. Ah, autumn... but it wasn't just that - it was some wind you didn't want to fuck with, as I found out upon leaving work. At some point that afternoon the wind had ripped the heavy wooden sign for one of the antique dealers across the street clear off of its chains, and it was smashed and splintered all over the sidewalk. Considering the amount of foot traffic that block gets, including quite a few kids coming home from the nearby Bridge Street School, it's lucky that didn't come down on somebody's head.
Heh, that triggered a memory. When I was four years old, possibly younger, my mother took me to the lumberyard with her to get some supplies - I don't remember for what, though considering the time frame it was probably to help my Dad renovate the limestone down the street from us that had been split into apartments and then left to him by his family. Anyway there was a wicked bad rainstorm happening and we were standing outside in the actual lumberyard part of the store, and a big gust of wind blew a piece of wood off of a pile - not a two by four, though that's what I'm tempted to say it was, it was thinner and wider than that, but wicked long - and I just remember standing there watching it as it sailed towards my head and finally cracked me one. I don't remember crying or anything, though considering I was four and just freshly beaned by a super heavy piece of wood I must have. I do remember the fuss that insued, my mother having hysterics lots of concerned employees hovering around, a couple of paramedics shining lights in my eyes and asking me questions to make sure I was okay. Which I was. I distinctly remember wondering what the hell the big deal was.
Came home, found an upset
beatgoddess. Made her tea, and we sat at the kitchen table and talked for about an hour and a half. She then departed to pick up primitive_boy, and sundart came home to find me tucked under the covers with Strangers in Paradise and moping fiercely. Neither of us ultimately wanted to make dinner, so I ordered chinese for the family, forced myself to eat some, and then rolled up in my brown comforter and went to sleep. Woke up around 12:20, feeling a little better, but glad for the silence of a sleeping household. And my nose has improved some too. Instead of being totally blocked, it's now running. Ah well, at least I can breathe now. More or less.
