Race, according to Nabisco

[kjpepper]

The racial commentary presented by the cookie aisle of stop and shop never fails to amuse me. Especially now that there are like 90 different sorts of Oreos out there.

It used to be just the black cookies with pure white cream filling. These are rather special to my heart - I don't particularly care for Oreo cookies as a snack food, but considering how many times the term has been tossed in my general direction, I kind of feel a sort of begrudging affinity with the little things. Plus I kinda get mesmerized by the precision cut relief design on the cookies... but anyway. black cookies. White insides. Your basic Oreo.

From here on in, you get increasingly complicated.

• Doublestuf oreos. black cookies. Double the white insides. Black Republicans? Clarence Thomas?
  
• Christmas Oreos. Black cookies, red cream. Native Negro American?
  
• Christmas Oreos, grinch edition. Black cookies, green cream. Extraterrestrial-Americans of African descent? (Outkast? Hey ya!)
  
• Chocolate creme Oreos. Ph33r the bl4ck c00kie. Fight the power. Ungawa.
  
• fudge covered Oreos. Okay, black cookies, white creme, fudge layer. I'd say these are the overeducated niggaz that seriously overcompensate by being all gangsta.
  
• White fudge covered Oreos. Just think, every time you eat these, you are eating the closest thing to Michael Jackson in cookie form. Keep these away from your sons, y'all.
  
• Oreo Uh-ohs. White cookies, chocolate creme. Lets not even go here.
  
• Golden Oreos. Well, we were leaving out the Asians.
  
• Golden Oreo Uh-ohs. Okay, my head just exploded, though just before my synapses hit the wall methinks I saw the grinning face of Tiger Woods.
  
• I'd make some deep observations of the implications of Spring Oreos and Halloween Oreos, but I'd have to retreive my brainmeats from around the room and put them back in my head and that's too much like work right now.

*shakes head* I'm going to Hell.

Comments

[nepenthedreams]

Okay, here's one for you - I'm sure you've seen these.

regular oreo cookie, interior is half peanut-butter, half chocolate.

Well, whatever they mean, they sure taste good.

LOL

[nireena.livejournal.com]

y'know, i never thought of the racial implications of the cookie aisle. i will have to unpack my knapsack o' privilege to make room for every tasty variety. (got enough room in that express handbasket for another passenger? ;) hm. they never told me that the handbaskets to hell came from Stop n Shop...)

[labmouse.livejournal.com]

Christmas Oreos <- My Maternal Great grandmother.
Luckily enough my association with Oreos was never marred by being labelled as such. However, my detractors usually said straight out "You act/speak like you're white." Perhaps they lacked the sophistication to use symbolism?

Funny how my most telling posts are in other people's comments.