ok, so the real post.

[kjpepper]

I'm feeling oddly introspective. The sort of introspective where I have to be careful not to walk into things because I'm thinking and not quite connected to reality. Add iPod with headphones and I'm really in trouble. Walking to work is going to be interesting this morning.

Yesterday was so fucking hectic, as I had to run around and do bureaucratic crap after class. Which required several items which I'd quite conveniently left on the kitchen table before work, so I had to go all the way back home for them. Add this to the fact that I hadn't quite finished my homework for the day and I was one cracked out kitty around 1:30, but the stuff got picked up, I made the bus in time, even had time to pick up and fill out another copy of the form I'd conveniently left on my desk at work in all of the shuffling. *sigh* I hate being a complete and total scatterbrain sometimes. But everything that needed to get done got done, and the homework got pushed back to Thursday anyway. So w00t.

I had no plans for clubbing last night, as I was feeling poor, non-piratical, and I've seen the Crüxshadows every year for the past five or six. I think the gods will forgive me if I miss ONE show. Even if I do like them quite a bit. But really, they do the same thing every year, I'm sure I didn't miss that much. :) Instead I met morlock after I got out of class and he got out of work and we spent the evening hanging out, watching The West Wing, which I'm starting to like almost as much as Law & Order, getting up to dickens, and having quite possibly one of the most intense and terrifying conversations I've ever engaged in.

How the fuck did I get so guarded about what's really going on in my head? There was a point in time where I gave up far more of it with little provocation. I mean, I blather on about it in here, but these days I barely scratch the surface, where before I at least got a little deeper. *sigh* I shouldn't ask questions I know the answers to, though. I mean, last year around this time I put my heart and soul into a cute little package and gave it to someone who then used it for target practice and then not only claimed he couldn't help what he was doing, but led me to believe it was my fault for getting hurt in the process because I shouldn't have given it to him in the first place. *snort* Speaking of him... wonder if he's gone off to the desert yet. pff. Most of the time these days I barely spare a thought in his direction, though every so often I do and I'm either still pissed at him or I miss him. Feh. Granted what's going on isn't entirely his fault, but he is the most recent source of angst. Hence the mini-rant.

So anyway, yeah. Last night kinda unscrambled some stuff I've been low-level stressing about, and made me think about how lately I haven't really had the nads for the deep scary conversations that used to be a hallmark of both the Casita and way long ago, the game group. Hadn't realized how much I'd missed both it and the folks involved. So to morlock, a kiss and a heartfelt thank you, and to everyone I haven't been really talking to lately but should... let's do it again soon.