In NY

[kjpepper]

I got here, safe and sound.

The house isn't doing its usual kick and scream which is nice. on the flip side... boy, am I haunted right now. My sister and my cousin were assembling a collage of pics for the funeral, and it was mad surreal seeing Mom smiling out at me from all of these pictures and kinda being like whoa. She's not here. And she's not coming back. Except the weird thing is I feel like she's sticking around for a little bit before going to the place where you go after you're done here.

I found myself thinking about those pics of Mom at her wonderful, pain in the ass, dynamic, and yes fat prime. Black mamas should always be round, but she was quite the Big Mama in the family. And I was really happy that no one really took too many pics of her after she got sick the second time. I for one don't wanna remember her like that, you know?

I can't cry yet. I've come close since I've been home, and I'll prbably break sometime in the next two days, but for some reason right now some part of me is NOT letting it happen. All in good time I guess. *sigh*

In other news, three extremely fucked UP things experienced on the journey here:

This month's Awake! magazine, as offered by the typical creepy old lady at the Springfield Terminal.. Apparently the best way to counteract obesity is to find Jehovah. *FACESMACK*

Really really really really REALLY bad names for a porn video store: "The Romantic Outlet." I shit you not, take the NYState Throughway to NJ sometime and look out the driver's side window. jeeee-zus.

Oh and speaking of Jesus, third thing - someone's playing my mom's Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir CDS on loop downstairs (from which I'm quite summarily hiding my pagan ass upstairs) Ye gods, I never want to here Jesus scat ever again... and yet I have this perverse urge to rip it and subject the unsuspecting to both it and that horrible "A Winter's Rose" song sundart downloaded back to back, with a side dish of Wesley Willis. I think lesser mortals have imploded from less.

Jesus scat. O.M.F.G.

More later. I need something foodlike now.

Comments

[blueraccoon.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* I'm sorry I haven't commented before, but...I'm thinkin' of you, hon.

[kshandra]

Jesus scat. O.M.F.G.

*guffaw*

(I've been a musician too long not to know what you meant when I read that in context - but that one statement, sitting alone in the wilderness like that, is PAINFULLY funny.)

[nepenthedreams]

This is the first post I've read about your mom and I'm so sorry to hear it. Not sure what the appropriate thing to say here is - I guess...my thoughts are with you.

[nireena.livejournal.com]

:D yes, same here. did a mental double-take when i got to that phrase until i remembered its meaning in a musical context.

kj- thinking of you, and glad that you're keeping a healthy sense of humor to help you through this. *hug*

[twilighter.livejournal.com]

When I find Jehovah, I hope He can keep up with me as we eat bananas Foster pecan sundaes and nacho cheese Doritos. Especially since we're going to be so full from having the tres enchiladas meal at Chico's (extra white sauce).

[beatgoddess.livejournal.com]

Jesus scat is probably worth about 1.5 million on eBay.

[harinezumi.livejournal.com]

I hear it was clinically proven to cure the gout and genital warts

[beatgoddess.livejournal.com]

And it's lo-carb, too!

[kjpepper.livejournal.com]

you two are in need of some SERIOUS psychological counseling.

thanks for the much needed giggle tho.