*sigh of relief*
Oct. 28th, 2004 06:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kjpepperwhat a hectic 12 hours.
5:45 - awakened rudely by both cell phone and horrendous hotel alarm clock. Groggly shambling into the shower, dressing very quickly, and fighting the fro into an acceptable looking dutch crown (since Mom commented on how pretty the style looked on me last time I saw her.) Much grumbling about itchy nylon clothing. However, I think one of my mantras is going to become "Nothing bad can happen whilst wearing Superman undies. Yes, I wore them. Wherever Mom is, I hope she's either laughing or appalled. ;)
6:30 - on the dot, knock on Dad's room door to collect him for breakfast. He's not quite ready yet, I tease him about how he got me up at some ungodly hour of the morning and how I was here on time. He responds with an amused. "Well. I had no idea you were so corporate." To which I took the proper amount of mock offense. We went down and had breakfast while waiting for everyone to gather in the lobby.
7:45 - we finally leave to head over to Penuche*'s house. Sit in traffic for about thirty five minutes. We get there finally, where I had quite the reunion with the hellspawn. RJr* is now taller than me, and a bass; we caught up some as the day progressed. D* is huge as well. S* - well, she is her mother's daughter, except with Mom's lungpower and glass breaking soprano. Ouch. The funeral directors finally get us all organized into three black limos, and we head to the church.
9:40ish - Definitely easier getting through the service with Mom's casket closed. The service was mercifully under an hour, and quite preachy (gotta love Black Baptists, can I get an Amen?) but I think Mom would have been happy with it, and the minister did have a lot of truth in the sermon in between the "when you put your bread in the toaster, who pop up? Jeeeeesus." Meanwhile during the service and afterward, people are POURING in - cousins from both enormously huge sides of the family, Penuche's entire office shows up including the aforementioned celebrity (they bussed it from Madison Square), friends of my sisters that I hadn't seen since I was at least a foot shorter than I currently am - I mean, MAD amounts of folk. Which led to Mom's funeral procession stretching down Rt. 78 for as far as I could see behind me. Maybe even over a mile. It's definitely the longest one I've ever been in - and probably the longest one I'd ever seen.
11:20 - I've got a thing for car funeral processions, actually - they're one of the few things associated with death in this society that I have a lot of respect for. Actually, most of the secular ritual of funerals I like and respect - the six pallbearers carrying the casket out to the hearse (Mom's were Stanley, the Valkyries' husbands, RJr, and one of our cousins), the family getting in the limos behind the hearse, everyone's cars lining up behind the family limos, everyone turning on their headlights (what are people gonna do once cars come with driving lights standard?), and heading out to the cemetery in an unbroken, stately line. And no one dares break that line either - at lights, everyone waits at the intersection until the procession's through passing no matter what the light is, nobody complained about us taking up the entire right lane of 78, and the two tollbooths we had to go through simply took down the name of the funeral home and waved everyone through. Plus if I'm in one, I have to play Ani's "Little Plastic Castle" on the way - it sort of became a personal tradition with me after my Uncle Victor died in 1998.
11:50 - Anyone who didn't crack before Mom's casket was lowered into her grave and one of my cousins launched into "Amazing Grace" spontaneously, so did then. RJr's blood pressure got so high from holding it all in his nose started bleeding; it happens when he gets really upset. But after people started milling away from the grave site everyone seemed more or less okay. Went around and gathered contact info for the cousins that are at least remotely my age that I haven't seen or talked to in an obscenely long time, got hugs from even more people, and complimented profusely on the collage I made for Mom (yes, I will post it when I get home) and the program layout.
12:30ish - Reception back at the church. Thought of you,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
morlock, heaps of fried chicken. (What else do you expect at a Black funeral, hmm?) Played with the kids some, hung out with RJr. and S especially. S says I'm getting boring and corny and need to stop hanging out with the grownups so much. Despite the mild offense taken I wholeheartedly agree. And Jesus Christ on a cruise. How on earth did I become the measuring stick against which everyone takes stock of their age? you don't know how many times people have told me that they feel all old now because I grew up. I thought we were gonna need a few ambulances when some people came to realization that yes, I am 26.
2:40 - back to Penuche's for a little more family time, football, Oprah, and exhausted family members conking out on the living room couches. Stanley, Amanda, Alé* and I did finally manage to escape 'round sixish, and came back to the hotel where I gratefully divested myself of itchy synthetic fabric in favor of my usual Tshirt and jeans (with sweatshirt) and of course came in the "Business Center" to post at length.
So... yeah. Everything's all set, gotten through, and over with, no hitches, no overabundance of drama, yay. So now... just figuring out how to deal on our own, and just to slowly get used to Mom not being here.
I hope to be out of NY tomorrow, but I'm not sure really what's up yet, who's staying with Dad and what everyone's doing. Right now, I should probably come out of my little geeky hidey hole and go tell Stanley and Amanda that no, I haven't uploaded my brain into the Internet, or joined the Foglet society or something - which reminds me, I should ask him whether he's gotten around to reading the rest of Transmet yet...
* Penuche is NOT her real name, in case anyone's wondering, but her actual name is fairly close. and the initials and contractions are the kids - who probably shouldn't have their full names in a public post, them being minors and all.
5:45 - awakened rudely by both cell phone and horrendous hotel alarm clock. Groggly shambling into the shower, dressing very quickly, and fighting the fro into an acceptable looking dutch crown (since Mom commented on how pretty the style looked on me last time I saw her.) Much grumbling about itchy nylon clothing. However, I think one of my mantras is going to become "Nothing bad can happen whilst wearing Superman undies. Yes, I wore them. Wherever Mom is, I hope she's either laughing or appalled. ;)
6:30 - on the dot, knock on Dad's room door to collect him for breakfast. He's not quite ready yet, I tease him about how he got me up at some ungodly hour of the morning and how I was here on time. He responds with an amused. "Well. I had no idea you were so corporate." To which I took the proper amount of mock offense. We went down and had breakfast while waiting for everyone to gather in the lobby.
7:45 - we finally leave to head over to Penuche*'s house. Sit in traffic for about thirty five minutes. We get there finally, where I had quite the reunion with the hellspawn. RJr* is now taller than me, and a bass; we caught up some as the day progressed. D* is huge as well. S* - well, she is her mother's daughter, except with Mom's lungpower and glass breaking soprano. Ouch. The funeral directors finally get us all organized into three black limos, and we head to the church.
9:40ish - Definitely easier getting through the service with Mom's casket closed. The service was mercifully under an hour, and quite preachy (gotta love Black Baptists, can I get an Amen?) but I think Mom would have been happy with it, and the minister did have a lot of truth in the sermon in between the "when you put your bread in the toaster, who pop up? Jeeeeesus." Meanwhile during the service and afterward, people are POURING in - cousins from both enormously huge sides of the family, Penuche's entire office shows up including the aforementioned celebrity (they bussed it from Madison Square), friends of my sisters that I hadn't seen since I was at least a foot shorter than I currently am - I mean, MAD amounts of folk. Which led to Mom's funeral procession stretching down Rt. 78 for as far as I could see behind me. Maybe even over a mile. It's definitely the longest one I've ever been in - and probably the longest one I'd ever seen.
11:20 - I've got a thing for car funeral processions, actually - they're one of the few things associated with death in this society that I have a lot of respect for. Actually, most of the secular ritual of funerals I like and respect - the six pallbearers carrying the casket out to the hearse (Mom's were Stanley, the Valkyries' husbands, RJr, and one of our cousins), the family getting in the limos behind the hearse, everyone's cars lining up behind the family limos, everyone turning on their headlights (what are people gonna do once cars come with driving lights standard?), and heading out to the cemetery in an unbroken, stately line. And no one dares break that line either - at lights, everyone waits at the intersection until the procession's through passing no matter what the light is, nobody complained about us taking up the entire right lane of 78, and the two tollbooths we had to go through simply took down the name of the funeral home and waved everyone through. Plus if I'm in one, I have to play Ani's "Little Plastic Castle" on the way - it sort of became a personal tradition with me after my Uncle Victor died in 1998.
11:50 - Anyone who didn't crack before Mom's casket was lowered into her grave and one of my cousins launched into "Amazing Grace" spontaneously, so did then. RJr's blood pressure got so high from holding it all in his nose started bleeding; it happens when he gets really upset. But after people started milling away from the grave site everyone seemed more or less okay. Went around and gathered contact info for the cousins that are at least remotely my age that I haven't seen or talked to in an obscenely long time, got hugs from even more people, and complimented profusely on the collage I made for Mom (yes, I will post it when I get home) and the program layout.
12:30ish - Reception back at the church. Thought of you,
morlock, heaps of fried chicken. (What else do you expect at a Black funeral, hmm?) Played with the kids some, hung out with RJr. and S especially. S says I'm getting boring and corny and need to stop hanging out with the grownups so much. Despite the mild offense taken I wholeheartedly agree. And Jesus Christ on a cruise. How on earth did I become the measuring stick against which everyone takes stock of their age? you don't know how many times people have told me that they feel all old now because I grew up. I thought we were gonna need a few ambulances when some people came to realization that yes, I am 26.2:40 - back to Penuche's for a little more family time, football, Oprah, and exhausted family members conking out on the living room couches. Stanley, Amanda, Alé* and I did finally manage to escape 'round sixish, and came back to the hotel where I gratefully divested myself of itchy synthetic fabric in favor of my usual Tshirt and jeans (with sweatshirt) and of course came in the "Business Center" to post at length.
So... yeah. Everything's all set, gotten through, and over with, no hitches, no overabundance of drama, yay. So now... just figuring out how to deal on our own, and just to slowly get used to Mom not being here.
I hope to be out of NY tomorrow, but I'm not sure really what's up yet, who's staying with Dad and what everyone's doing. Right now, I should probably come out of my little geeky hidey hole and go tell Stanley and Amanda that no, I haven't uploaded my brain into the Internet, or joined the Foglet society or something - which reminds me, I should ask him whether he's gotten around to reading the rest of Transmet yet...
* Penuche is NOT her real name, in case anyone's wondering, but her actual name is fairly close. and the initials and contractions are the kids - who probably shouldn't have their full names in a public post, them being minors and all.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 05:37 pm (UTC)*HUG*
As one black person to another I know the ordeal of a baptist funral all to well (6 in my life). I hate them but I can not ignore the need that funreals fill in our society. My mother and I had a conversation last year before my aunts funreal (her younger sister). I almost didnt go cause of the emotinal load I get from my family. In the end we never want to deal with them but they are need, to say goodbye, to gather together as family and friends, to see people who you only see at these sad occasions or a wedding. They are one of the few celebrations that we still acknowledge that bind a family a bit tighter. Hope you can escape the city soon and unwind at home with Sun and the rest of the clan.
PS..I am still working on the white chocalte chip cookies...
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 06:13 pm (UTC)Oh hahahahahaha!!!
I love black Baptists. Had plenty of them in Texas. I clearly remember a MLK service I went to one year. There's a tradition in Austin that 6 churches put this big public service on together. That year it was in a rich white Presbyterian church, and the sermon was courtesy of my man from Mt Zion Baptist. Fuckin' *hilarious*. Not the sermon so much (though I had to repress a snort when he transitioned from ML King to The King), but more the reaction of all the white people in the audience. The black churchgoers were amening their preacher, and the white people were looking like they were getting an anal probe in public. How most whites feel they really know what getting in touch with god is all about is beyond me.
*hugshugshugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 06:14 pm (UTC)Even though I only met your mom a few times, I feel like I knew her well through your wonderful stories. Keep 'em coming. It's the kind of legacy I'd want to leave someday.
Oh, and I'm sure that she appreciated your Superman undies. ;) Because it's a gesture that is so very you.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 11:37 pm (UTC)