Christmas Carols
Dec. 17th, 2005 12:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kjpepperIf the world was mine and everything was up to me, I'd head a special committee on Christmas carols. See, I actually like carols and songs. A lot. What I don't like is that every single no talent hack and off key slash insists on having a christmas album in which they butcher said songs to hell.
Classic carols I really can't do much about, as they're public domain (though I hold that the best execution of "Silent Night" was done by the Temptations). But there are several Christmas songs out that I feel really should only be played as sung by their original artists. For example, nobody, and I mean no one is allowed to sing "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on my Open Ass) except for Nat King Cole. Doing so, or playing any other version, should be punishable by having said roasted chestnuts crushed and glued to sensitive bits of the offender's anatomy with honey and being left out naked as a holiday treat for the squirrels. Same for "Have yourself a merry little Christmas," "White Christmas" "Rocking around the Christmas Tree" "Do they Know it's Christmas?" and a few other classics that should never have been covered ONCE let alone by EVERYONE. There is nothing wrong with the Judy Garland, Bing Crosby and I don't remember who else sings the rest's versions, people! Damn.
In the same vein, "Sleigh Ride" should never have lyrics. Ever. And it should always be played by the Boston Pops, unless it's the Super Mario World remixed version, which admittedly is pretty fucking funny. And anything done by the South Park people is automatically permissible, though isn't going to get airplay in Marshall's.
That was all, really. I'm just tired of the endless parade of listening to horrible renditions of songs I actually really like every single year. I'm probably being more draconian than I really mean to be in this entry, but sheesh. Lite jazz minimalist versions of "Sleigh Ride?" *headcomputer* The apocalypse is coming and Santa's one of the horsemen.
Classic carols I really can't do much about, as they're public domain (though I hold that the best execution of "Silent Night" was done by the Temptations). But there are several Christmas songs out that I feel really should only be played as sung by their original artists. For example, nobody, and I mean no one is allowed to sing "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on my Open Ass) except for Nat King Cole. Doing so, or playing any other version, should be punishable by having said roasted chestnuts crushed and glued to sensitive bits of the offender's anatomy with honey and being left out naked as a holiday treat for the squirrels. Same for "Have yourself a merry little Christmas," "White Christmas" "Rocking around the Christmas Tree" "Do they Know it's Christmas?" and a few other classics that should never have been covered ONCE let alone by EVERYONE. There is nothing wrong with the Judy Garland, Bing Crosby and I don't remember who else sings the rest's versions, people! Damn.
In the same vein, "Sleigh Ride" should never have lyrics. Ever. And it should always be played by the Boston Pops, unless it's the Super Mario World remixed version, which admittedly is pretty fucking funny. And anything done by the South Park people is automatically permissible, though isn't going to get airplay in Marshall's.
That was all, really. I'm just tired of the endless parade of listening to horrible renditions of songs I actually really like every single year. I'm probably being more draconian than I really mean to be in this entry, but sheesh. Lite jazz minimalist versions of "Sleigh Ride?" *headcomputer* The apocalypse is coming and Santa's one of the horsemen.
