(no subject)

[kjpepper]

I am always struck by how incredibly brave some poeple are in their journals, how they are unafraid to just let themselves out there, to just unload themselves, raw and honest for their friends lists or even the world to see, unafraid of their readers labelling them things like "weird," "eccentric", "slutwhore" or "Grand High Poobah of Planet Asshole." (That one is especially for captainlove, bless his caustic Irish ass.) But me... God... here I sit, Salome doing the dance of the seven masks. Or even better yet, Hexadecimal. in her chamber of floating masks, changeable with a flick of her wrist. "So many moods. So little time." Reminds me, I need to get my compy back running and finish that hex mood theme.

I don't know... I wonder what might have happened to my life if I didn't force myself to live with the leashes on, allowed people to see what sort of person I am in my full twisted fucked up glory from jump, told people what I actually thought instead of dissembling my thoughts into something other people want to hear. I figure in hindsight, if I had lived more honestly, perhaps less people would remember me and the hurt that I tend to cause in the service of not having anyone hate me. I wonder if I have the courage to ever be that honest about myself.

Gotta run. Have a bus to catch, and I've already missed one today.

Comments

[lapetitediva.livejournal.com]

I wonder what might have happened to my life if I didn't force myself to live with the leashes on, allowed people to see what sort of person I am in my full twisted fucked up glory from jump, told people what I actually thought instead of dissembling my thoughts into something other people want to hear. I figure in hindsight, if I had lived more honestly, perhaps less people would remember me and the hurt that I tend to cause in the service of not having anyone hate me. I wonder if I have the courage to ever be that honest about myself.

I sometimes have similar thoughts. As I've gotten older, I've become less concerned about what others think of me. I still filter myself to a certain degree, but I've built up a protective wall around myself, and try to stay true to who I am, even if it means "turning off" some people. I figure if they can't accept me for who I am, then they aren't the type of people I want to be bothered with. There are times when I actually like it when people consider me "weird", or "strange", because at least they know not to mess with me. **small smile**

[grinninfoole.livejournal.com]

I, too, wish to post freely, without regard for the opinions of others, since I have long believed that anything that I can say without caring who listens is something which has no power over me. You strike me as more about sex than I am comfortable writing at the moment, so perhaps you should praise yourself for what you do well, as well as criticize yourself.