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kjpepperIt's been a while (or at least it feels like it has) since I made what they call a Real Post. Course I haven't really felt like Really Posting for a good long time, but as I noted a few days ago, it seems like my period of rectoskepsis (heh heh) is coming to an end. Which is nice... I've been feeling stuck in this weird emotional limbo since September, though I think it's been going on longer than that.
It's the holidays, which is both making me happy and sad... happy because the six year old in me unabashedly loves the season - the lights, the displays, yes I even love the carols, though I tend to only like one version of each traditional song and despise all the rest (with the exception of everything in the South Park holiday oevre). For example, my favorite version of "Silent Night" is the one done by the temptations, in all it's falsetto-abusing glory. I can't stand other versions of it. Likewise I despise covers of "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" and "Jingle Bell Rock." But that's neither here nor there really.
We have a tree this year. It's sitting in the window of QT9 cheekily winking and blinking at the stodgy in comparison edifice of the church across the way. It makes me happy, even as it sparks debate about how terribly Christianist the holidays are, no matter what spin you put on them.
Still, I feel a bit lost this year, like something is missing, and things have been bugging me more than usual during this particular set of holidays. I finally realized why I don't like the actual Christmas Day anymore - we haven't had it at The House since Mom died and with the state of disaster Dad's left it in, we probably will never have it there again. It's childish, but I really enjoyed waking up in my own damn room and coming down to see the tree and the presents and waiting excitedly for everyone to get there, eat, and then open things. I also enjoyed and really missed having most of the family at the house on Christmas eve for the feverish spate of wrapping things and then the toast and glass of wine at the stroke of midnight. Bleh. I feel like Christmas - real Christmas - is buried in the basement in the tree box with the ornaments with two years worth of dust on it. The box that has all of Mom's childhood ornaments in it (not to mention mine!), and my favoite garish tinsel boas that have gone on the tree since before I was born. I mean, it's still nice going over to $SIBLING's house, but it doesn't feel right. :P And it's not gonna. Feels a bit like Mom took the magic with her when she went. *sigh*
There's other stuff contributing towards my ambivelence this year. It seems to be de rigeur to sneer at the season these days, to harp on the commercialism, the Christianism, the sheer waste and excess the season represents. Which is not entirely without merit - it does seem like the entire country goes batshit on the day after Thanksgiving. (These people are obviously not eating enough turkey if they're AWAKE enough to be storming Wal-Mart at six o'clock the next morning - not that I think there's any merit to the supposed effects of tryptophan.) It seems almost more acceptable to roll your eyes and groan if "Sleigh Ride" comes on $STORE's PA system, and knowing the words to it seems sort of shameful. And people do tend to go a little nuts with the presents, stressing over finding "perfect gifts" and beating up old ladies for the very last of this year's Tickle-Me-Elmos, and thus completely missing the whole peace-on-earth-goodwill-towards-man-shut-up-and-drink-your-eggnog-and-lookit-the-pretty-snow point.
The last straw for me was when I recieved a mass emailing in my gmail from a friend informing their recipients that instead of sending holiday cards out this year they were opting for one large (and IMO, very impersonal) mass emailing and a donation of 100 trees to be planted in a depleted forest in the caribbean, and then proceeded to list the statistics of how wasteful and harmful the process of creating greeting cards was to the planet and how wonderful they felt in coming up with this more sustainable option. *facepalm* Ever see that episode of South Park with the Toyota Priuses and the very special weather phenomenon that ensues? Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for reforestation, and I think the donation of trees is a wonderful idea. However, I also feel grinched out of enjoying any holiday cards I might receive this year not to mention that any thinking I might have done about sending out cards has been axed due to the very idea being tainted. *sigh* I'm all for saving the planet, but not if it means getting my holiday greetings via listserv and with a not-even-remotely festive PDF attachment to boot. Yeesh. How utterly joyless.
So yeah, this year I'm kinda torn over the holidays. I don't know how to feel about them, or celebrate them, or what have you, though I'm gaining a little hope since I and the amoeba are making the first forays into making our own holiday traditions, amid many discussions of what they are, what they mean, and other sundry stuff, discussion that have definitely caught my interest. I'm hoping that the five of us can start having more discussions like that.
Actually we're due to on Thursday, as we are having a "House Meeting" (smithies best be rolling their eyes) to discuss a change in living space and work out whether it is possible to get the entire band of superheroes in one collective space. I also hope to begin the process of dealing with the making sure all of our asses are covered legally in all departments in case something happens to any of us ($UNIVERSAL_FORCE forbid), if our numbers increase (which may happen a year or so from now - Sunny and I have been discussing it), or if the project that morlock and I have been quietly brainstorming on for the past couple of months takes off. I'm kind of terribly excited by all of this actually. I think I'm finally ready to start on the grown-up stuff, and it's going to be fun and challenging making it all happen.
And if by this time next year we're in a house (rented or whatever elsewise), you know that shit's getting uberpimped for Christmas. I'm totally going to be one of those crazy people that wants their house seen from outer space, though I draw the line at creepy inflatable animatronic snowmen. Those are just scary.
Who knows, maybe some day we'll even have the solar panels installed to sustainably power the pimpage too.
It's the holidays, which is both making me happy and sad... happy because the six year old in me unabashedly loves the season - the lights, the displays, yes I even love the carols, though I tend to only like one version of each traditional song and despise all the rest (with the exception of everything in the South Park holiday oevre). For example, my favorite version of "Silent Night" is the one done by the temptations, in all it's falsetto-abusing glory. I can't stand other versions of it. Likewise I despise covers of "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" and "Jingle Bell Rock." But that's neither here nor there really.
We have a tree this year. It's sitting in the window of QT9 cheekily winking and blinking at the stodgy in comparison edifice of the church across the way. It makes me happy, even as it sparks debate about how terribly Christianist the holidays are, no matter what spin you put on them.
Still, I feel a bit lost this year, like something is missing, and things have been bugging me more than usual during this particular set of holidays. I finally realized why I don't like the actual Christmas Day anymore - we haven't had it at The House since Mom died and with the state of disaster Dad's left it in, we probably will never have it there again. It's childish, but I really enjoyed waking up in my own damn room and coming down to see the tree and the presents and waiting excitedly for everyone to get there, eat, and then open things. I also enjoyed and really missed having most of the family at the house on Christmas eve for the feverish spate of wrapping things and then the toast and glass of wine at the stroke of midnight. Bleh. I feel like Christmas - real Christmas - is buried in the basement in the tree box with the ornaments with two years worth of dust on it. The box that has all of Mom's childhood ornaments in it (not to mention mine!), and my favoite garish tinsel boas that have gone on the tree since before I was born. I mean, it's still nice going over to $SIBLING's house, but it doesn't feel right. :P And it's not gonna. Feels a bit like Mom took the magic with her when she went. *sigh*
There's other stuff contributing towards my ambivelence this year. It seems to be de rigeur to sneer at the season these days, to harp on the commercialism, the Christianism, the sheer waste and excess the season represents. Which is not entirely without merit - it does seem like the entire country goes batshit on the day after Thanksgiving. (These people are obviously not eating enough turkey if they're AWAKE enough to be storming Wal-Mart at six o'clock the next morning - not that I think there's any merit to the supposed effects of tryptophan.) It seems almost more acceptable to roll your eyes and groan if "Sleigh Ride" comes on $STORE's PA system, and knowing the words to it seems sort of shameful. And people do tend to go a little nuts with the presents, stressing over finding "perfect gifts" and beating up old ladies for the very last of this year's Tickle-Me-Elmos, and thus completely missing the whole peace-on-earth-goodwill-towards-man-shut-up-and-drink-your-eggnog-and-lookit-the-pretty-snow point.
The last straw for me was when I recieved a mass emailing in my gmail from a friend informing their recipients that instead of sending holiday cards out this year they were opting for one large (and IMO, very impersonal) mass emailing and a donation of 100 trees to be planted in a depleted forest in the caribbean, and then proceeded to list the statistics of how wasteful and harmful the process of creating greeting cards was to the planet and how wonderful they felt in coming up with this more sustainable option. *facepalm* Ever see that episode of South Park with the Toyota Priuses and the very special weather phenomenon that ensues? Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for reforestation, and I think the donation of trees is a wonderful idea. However, I also feel grinched out of enjoying any holiday cards I might receive this year not to mention that any thinking I might have done about sending out cards has been axed due to the very idea being tainted. *sigh* I'm all for saving the planet, but not if it means getting my holiday greetings via listserv and with a not-even-remotely festive PDF attachment to boot. Yeesh. How utterly joyless.
So yeah, this year I'm kinda torn over the holidays. I don't know how to feel about them, or celebrate them, or what have you, though I'm gaining a little hope since I and the amoeba are making the first forays into making our own holiday traditions, amid many discussions of what they are, what they mean, and other sundry stuff, discussion that have definitely caught my interest. I'm hoping that the five of us can start having more discussions like that.
Actually we're due to on Thursday, as we are having a "House Meeting" (smithies best be rolling their eyes) to discuss a change in living space and work out whether it is possible to get the entire band of superheroes in one collective space. I also hope to begin the process of dealing with the making sure all of our asses are covered legally in all departments in case something happens to any of us ($UNIVERSAL_FORCE forbid), if our numbers increase (which may happen a year or so from now - Sunny and I have been discussing it), or if the project that morlock and I have been quietly brainstorming on for the past couple of months takes off. I'm kind of terribly excited by all of this actually. I think I'm finally ready to start on the grown-up stuff, and it's going to be fun and challenging making it all happen.
And if by this time next year we're in a house (rented or whatever elsewise), you know that shit's getting uberpimped for Christmas. I'm totally going to be one of those crazy people that wants their house seen from outer space, though I draw the line at creepy inflatable animatronic snowmen. Those are just scary.
Who knows, maybe some day we'll even have the solar panels installed to sustainably power the pimpage too.
