Focus

[kjpepper]

Still kinda riding an oddly energized wave. And by energized I mean that I know I have 12.6 million things to do, but I'm more like "bring it" than I am "eeeeeeeek." Part of what's galvanizing me on one end is the beginnings of working on Amoeba/Pack Phase III... which is both exciting, scary and frustrating. Exciting because we're planning on boldly staring down the future and laughing all together. Scary and frustrating because I don't know how the hell we're all going to afford what we want/need out of the arrangement. But while we're dreaming, it's still fun.

But yeah... energized. The problem, as always, is focus. I'm more than a little convinced that I have a big old case of undiagnosed ADD with a side order of mild anxiety (which I am working on getting professionally handled again). What always happens with me is that I'll know I have 12 million things to do and just end up locked in a ball of unproductive stress and go dull my resulting freakout with whatever VH1 Top 100 countdown is on at the time. I do tend to work better if I pick a few things to accomplish within x time, but I tend to make lists and then leave them places, or forget about them. Have a solution for that in the works as well.

I checked the list of stuff I meant to have done by March... I'm actually making some good progress on it. I'm pleased with myself.

I don't know... that's kind of it, I guess. Other than judging by that odd twisting twinge in my lower abdomen, I'm not too far off in my predictions re: my brains period yesterday. Tonight/tomorrow's gonna be fun.

...every so often I look at the calendar and go... whoa, I'm turning 30 this year. Which really is okay by me... other than the interpersonal relationships department and fewer than I'd like but still significant accomplishments, my 20s were kind of a wash, and I'm rather looking forward to tying up the sins and failures of this particular decade and leaving it behind. One thing though done right... I have a good core group/support structure/cluster of friends... and I'm back in touch with my blood family and working on repairing that particular rift. So whatever I do put my hand to between 2008-2018, I know I've got folk who've got my back. So... thank you all.

And... game on.

Comments

[bellarisa.livejournal.com]

What always happens with me is that I'll know I have 12 million things to do and just end up locked in a ball of unproductive stress and go dull my resulting freakout with whatever VH1 Top 100 countdown is on at the time. I do tend to work better if I pick a few things to accomplish within x time, but I tend to make lists and then leave them places, or forget about them.>>>


You are officially my Hero for today. Just the fact that it's not just me (although it's Dr. Phil and Supernanny I numb myself with) has done my procrastinator's heart SUCH good (HUGS)

[extrajoker.livejournal.com]

Not to go all gooble-gobble-one-of-us on you, but I'd definitely recommend looking into the possibility of medication for the anxiety. Chances are, it'll also help with the digestive-fu. (I know my ulcerative colitis is worse when I'm stressed.)

Oh, and I'm turning 35 this year...assuming I don't kick it before then. ;)

[11th-letter.livejournal.com]

The year I turned 30 was the best year of my life.