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kjpeppergrumble grumble. I've already spent $50 out of my paycheck, and this before I think it's even hit my bank account yet. But, alas, two items in particular have been necessary for a while, and tonight I have finally lost my patience for doing without. So in about a week, there shall be five pairs of Victoria's Secret high leg briefs (when you have Granny's Attic's worth of junk in your trunk you learn to find and stick with the underwear that both looks cute and doesn't ride up) and a replacement carafe for my coffeepot arriving in the mail. *glare around at the Amoeba* if y'all break this one, I'll kill ya. They don't replace those for free yaknow. But yay, new undies. I've needed those for a while - I don't know what beast in this house loves high leg panties so much but it's gotten to the point where I've got three pairs left and a bunch of hipster briefs that right now I'm a hair too chubby to wear comfortably these days. Seriously, I'd love to know where they all went, seeing as I haven't been throwing them at rock stars or donating them for use in gachupon machines. I'm sure a coupe of pairs here and theree got left at The House during one of my periodic stays, but that's doing me a world of good right now. Yes that is sarcasm.
I think... maybe... not sure, the Allegra's beginning to work. While i dislike feeling headachey and dried out around the eyeballs, it _is_ preferable by a small margin (not by a small margarine) to having them be gluey and itchtastic. I'm going to stick with it for now. Chances are by the time I've gotten up the oomph to declare it fail or success the lilacs will have died off, thus signalling the end of my seasonal allergies for 2008. Ye gods, how I hate you late april and may. Hate.
I have decided currently that life is a bitch and the only way to deal with it is to get all A Pimp Named Slickback all over its ass. *chuckle* Seriously though... there have been a couple of introspective thoughtful posts regarding choice and sacrifice from over yonder at that there Harmony Drive place, and I've been sort of mulling over what choices that I've made along the way in the past ten years and change have landed me here, and of course wondering what I could have done better along the way. But mostly wondering what's next, as generally the projects I've devoted myself in the last decade seem done, with wildly varying degrees of success or failure. I sorta feel a bit like Inigo at the end of the Princess Bride, devoted his life to killing Count Rugen and is suddenly, for the first time in 20 years, is at loose ends. I guess at this point I'm waiting for something, even if it's just my own consciousness, to ask me if I've ever considered piracy.
In a lot of ways I do know what's next. The planning for the permanent Camp Amoeba is underway, as is the planning for Amoeba 2.0. I love the crazy pile of people I live with, and fully look foward to seeing what sort of fuzzy wolf spawn![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
anzovin and sundart will produce. So I know that somehow my future will remain tied to the folks I call home. However within that framework, there are a lot of undefined variables that are blinking at me rather urgently that basically come down to I haven't the faintest blessed idea what to do with myself and who I want to be within that. And above and beyond that... are any of my options right now even possible? or am I having the whole delusional pipe dream thing again? I have been known to take an idea and run with it. Fast. Fast enough to make hitting the brick wall of reality check extremely fucking painful. Also my main relationships need some severe paradigm adjustments before they continue, and I haven't the faintest how to do that either. Spthugh.
Part of me is trying to tell me not to worry about the big picture so much, that if I break it down into smaller accomplishments, the big picture will take care of itself. Problem is... last time I chose to take that approach, I ended up somewhere I didn't like mentally and emotionally. Which isn't to say that the choices made then weren't the right ones, but the end results... *sigh* I don't know. A lot of the time I feel like I could have gotten the same result at less cost to myself, maybe even better results. Sorta like the difference between shopping the no frills aisle at Pathmark and any aisle of, say.... Gristedes or Dean and Deluca. (as an aside, man, I wish someone would post the old D'Agostino's commercial with the cartoon of all these ladies trying to kiss the butcher... does anyone else remember those?)
Hmm. You know it's babble time when I start comparing my life to supermarket chain merchandise. Clearly time to go the hell to bed. But yeah. Need to know what's next, and when that's set, work on getting there.
I think... maybe... not sure, the Allegra's beginning to work. While i dislike feeling headachey and dried out around the eyeballs, it _is_ preferable by a small margin (not by a small margarine) to having them be gluey and itchtastic. I'm going to stick with it for now. Chances are by the time I've gotten up the oomph to declare it fail or success the lilacs will have died off, thus signalling the end of my seasonal allergies for 2008. Ye gods, how I hate you late april and may. Hate.
I have decided currently that life is a bitch and the only way to deal with it is to get all A Pimp Named Slickback all over its ass. *chuckle* Seriously though... there have been a couple of introspective thoughtful posts regarding choice and sacrifice from over yonder at that there Harmony Drive place, and I've been sort of mulling over what choices that I've made along the way in the past ten years and change have landed me here, and of course wondering what I could have done better along the way. But mostly wondering what's next, as generally the projects I've devoted myself in the last decade seem done, with wildly varying degrees of success or failure. I sorta feel a bit like Inigo at the end of the Princess Bride, devoted his life to killing Count Rugen and is suddenly, for the first time in 20 years, is at loose ends. I guess at this point I'm waiting for something, even if it's just my own consciousness, to ask me if I've ever considered piracy.
In a lot of ways I do know what's next. The planning for the permanent Camp Amoeba is underway, as is the planning for Amoeba 2.0. I love the crazy pile of people I live with, and fully look foward to seeing what sort of fuzzy wolf spawn
anzovin and sundart will produce. So I know that somehow my future will remain tied to the folks I call home. However within that framework, there are a lot of undefined variables that are blinking at me rather urgently that basically come down to I haven't the faintest blessed idea what to do with myself and who I want to be within that. And above and beyond that... are any of my options right now even possible? or am I having the whole delusional pipe dream thing again? I have been known to take an idea and run with it. Fast. Fast enough to make hitting the brick wall of reality check extremely fucking painful. Also my main relationships need some severe paradigm adjustments before they continue, and I haven't the faintest how to do that either. Spthugh.Part of me is trying to tell me not to worry about the big picture so much, that if I break it down into smaller accomplishments, the big picture will take care of itself. Problem is... last time I chose to take that approach, I ended up somewhere I didn't like mentally and emotionally. Which isn't to say that the choices made then weren't the right ones, but the end results... *sigh* I don't know. A lot of the time I feel like I could have gotten the same result at less cost to myself, maybe even better results. Sorta like the difference between shopping the no frills aisle at Pathmark and any aisle of, say.... Gristedes or Dean and Deluca. (as an aside, man, I wish someone would post the old D'Agostino's commercial with the cartoon of all these ladies trying to kiss the butcher... does anyone else remember those?)
Hmm. You know it's babble time when I start comparing my life to supermarket chain merchandise. Clearly time to go the hell to bed. But yeah. Need to know what's next, and when that's set, work on getting there.
