Connections, Competitions and Connotations

[kjpepper]

Connections: I was thinking a bit this morning about connections, specifically social ones, and even more specifically the ones made online. When I was first explaining the whole concept of how the internet worked to my mother way the hell back when (like twelve years ago back when) she simply couldn't really get the idea of having a conversation or any sort of meaningful connection with someone you had never met before. I think about that every so often, think about how by that paradigm I have so many friendships through LJ and games and email groups and comms that I wouldn't have otherwise. Honestly, sometimes at the expense of friendships I have in real life, due to my various weird social anxieties and sometimes just plain laziness. But just because you haven't met someone, just cause you haven't gotten a chance to stare into their faces and talk, how did that make those particular connections invalid? There is still a person on the other end of the line, the letter, the email, the IM, controlling the character/avatar you happen to be interacting with, a real person with flaws, strengths and an I perspective. I don't know, it's interesting.

Just been thinking about it a bit. One of the things sucking the life out of me this week is losing a connection I had made online recently that I was kinda hoping would be a lasting friendship, but due to her partner being a jackass, it isn't gonna happen. Part of me is sad about this because I really liked this person, the other half is all sort of "eh. Why are you getting so bent out of shape about someone you never even met and knew for less than a couple months?" Which is ass stupid, considering a good chunk of the people I've known on LJ for years I still have yet to meet, and whose stresses, tribulations and sorrows cause me as much worry, happiness and sympathy as any of my so called real friendships. Still... Bah. I'm trying not to let her abrupt and unnecessarily hostile departure from my world get to me, but considering my generally annoying state of emotional fragility lately, I'm taking it kinda hard, and it's probably still gonna smart for a while.

Yes, this is what sparked the pissed off explosion from left field a couple of days back about people in abusive situations. You know what, I realize it's callous, but I'm done dealing with that kind of BS and it's all KINDS of triggery for me for various reasons, so from here on in, if you want to be my new best friend, drop the person fucking you over first. I seriously have enough of my own issues regarding codependency and emotional shit-flinging to take on anyone else's right now. So, pretty much if you're not already in my queue, you're SOL. Sorry.

Competitions: Been watching America's got Talent this season. I thought, despite having more auditions, the actual talent pool was pretty slim and the public and the judges have made some eyeroll worthy choices, but now that they've pared it down to the top 20 (and tonight the top ten) I'm definitely pulling some favorites. In terms of actual talent, I love love LOVE Nothin' but Strings, two brothers that combine hip-hop, dance and classical violin, holy shit they're amazing... and damn fine to boot. Queen Emily, who apparently had been hiding this gospel trained powerhouse of a voice all her life and is only now getting to unleash it. The guy with the voice and the piano is pretty good too. And even though when they come out I wince at the tweeness of the family act, I do like the three kids that play the mandolin, guitar and string bass. They've been consistently really good. In terms of pure eye candy, the Elvis impersonator is pretty yummy and the adorable baton twirler boy is pretty amazing. And I just want to give the big operatic tenor a pat on the head and a cookie. He always looks so surprised and honored to be part of what he's doing. Anyway, been having fun with that lately.

Connotations: Went to see them sing at the open mike last night. They are really tightening up as a group and sounding damn good and being less nervous and uptight on stage. Last night's show was just kinda relaxed and people actually looked like they had fun singing, and they seem to be getting better at picking songs that fit the dynamic of the group more and get the audience going more. So well done them. And it don't hurt that morlock got to do his second solo song and well, I got to squee about it. That aside, I'm also just kinda proud that I actually made it out of the house to go see the show at all, even if the price of it was having to pop an ativan beforehand and having it kinda mess me up towards the end of the evening (I don't remember getting home all that much.)

Tonight. Need to take it easy, box up stuff in my room for the tag sale, and watch AGT. And sleep. Sleep is important. Damn draining week.

Comments

[harinezumi.livejournal.com]

I've never really made much of a connection with anyone I know exclusively online because of the whole "on the internet no one knows you're a dog" thing. You can never be certain whether the person you are talking to is actually a person, rather than a bot, a group, or someone's fabrication. It's just too easy to lie online to ever really trust anything anyone is saying.

[kjpepper.livejournal.com]

true that, though I'd like to think I've had somewhat better luck in that department in finding people, that, like me, aren't really interested in being anyone but themselves online. Course, I've got really no choice, i've left too many fingerprints across the internet to ever really lie about who I am and what I stand for. I really find no appeal in constructing a whole other identity for fucking around online and honestly rather pity those who treat the Internet like the worlds biggest mmorpgs.

[harinezumi.livejournal.com]

I've had too much fun playing cyber-transvestite on WoW not to expect others to do the same.

The Internet, where men are men, women are men, and little kids are FBI agents.

[kjpepper.livejournal.com]

The Internet, where men are men, women are men, and little kids are FBI agents.

Please tell me that's on a T-shirt somewhere, and if it is you have to get it for me for my birthday.

And I've never really understood why everyone likes to play girls on WoW. They really aren't that interesting under the armor and the patch to see em naked doesn't work anymore.

[harinezumi.livejournal.com]

Let me know what size/color/form factor you want the shirt to be.

The male toons in WoW generally seem to have gotten a once-over with the ugly stick. The only time I've ever played a male character in that game was as a Tauren.

[kjpepper.livejournal.com]

Original races, yeah, okay, you have a point, though that's sort of the point on the Horde side, lol. The Draenei and Blood elves had significantly better looking males, but that was after your time.

[austingoddess.livejournal.com]

What about penpals? Did no one from her generation ever write a soldier, or a prisoner, that they had not met face-to-face? How about mail-order brides??
It's not that unusual a concept...it's just that the internet has made it more widely available.