The left handed accolades of Belchertown residents

[kjpepper]

(timarok discusses the unexpected success of his web site project with his dad...)

parental unit: What about that girl in Northampton that was helping you out? She going to get anything out of this?

timarok: I don't know. I don't think she'd want anything out of it, really.

parental unit: well why doesn't she just join the Air Force and do all of their web sites?

timarok: Um, Dad, she's not the military type.

parental unit: Why not? She can't run the mile and a half in under thirteen?

timarok: Um, well, she probably could... if someone were chasing her...

[at this point in the retelling, your faithful editor interjects with an amused "You bastard. Fuck you."]

parental unit: Well then what? Oh, she's a little tight in the jeans, eh?

timarok: Well... That's not the reason either. Dad, come on, she lives in Northampton. For a reason...?

parental unit: [dawn breaks] Ohhhh... [pause, then smarmily] But she likes the Tim, does she?

timarok: [laughing] Yes, Dad. She likes the Tim.

I'm going to be laughing my ass off (and blushing) about that one all night, I think.

And I can so do a mile and a half in fifteen! Provided, of course, I take enough Albuterol to knock out a horse beforehand... and probably afterwards too...