(no subject)

[kjpepper]

End of hell week. Still mostly here, a little bruised for the wear, but still good. Kinda like a dropped tomato.

Many things crappy. Job is killing me. It must stop. Had a fit of angst ridden hysteria as I cut through Smith on the way to work this morning, a fit that sundart managed to alleviate somewhat on the way home. Mostly just graduation angst, as seeing the Quad all set up for yet another graduation left me with the ghosts of bagpipes in my ears and the memory of seeing everyone I knew and cared about march up there in their maquiladora black without me. Three years later, another Reunion coming and soon to be gone, still no yellow piece of expensive paper covered with highly pretentious latin for me. Much angst followed, much wondering if I had indeed accomplished anything over the past three years or if I've been just wanking myself this whole time. sundart seems to think I have. (Accomplished somenthing, not spent the whole time wanking. Or perhaps both? heh heh) My little voices disagree. Anyway, one of the major things that were upsetting me as the fact that if by some miracle I do finish up next year, I won't be graduating with anyone I know, I'll be pretty much all by myself, as the three classes under me that I would have known will have all come and gone by then. sundart essentially just looked at me like I was either about to explode or I was insane and said something to the effect of "Well. We're just going to have to throw the world's biggest party then, right?" Which did make me feel a little better, but being three blocks away from campus while the very audible festivities are going on this weekend is going to be . . . interesting. Oh well, at least there will be fireworks, and we'll have a shot in hell of seeing them this year. I'll just have to refrain from mowing down ancient alumnae on my bike.

In other news, things are fucked up elsewhere. Though we're mostly done with getting the old apartment shipshape for Maladjusted Lintball I still have a few assignments. sundart and I actually had to talk to her when she came up to say hello and ask us about some stuff. Ew. Thank you, I've done my community outreach for the weekend. Ugh. Meanwhile, beatgoddess and I had a discussion/processing session/weirdness late last night about what bugs us about the other that didn't seem to actually resolve anything, and things are still weird 24 hours later. Would like to talk about it, but general mood of hating the world and everyone in it is not the right attitude with which to march up into a discussion. So, maybe after friggin' reunion weekend.

Let's see, anything else going wrong? Ah yes . . .

More issues have reached up to bite us computer wise - the F: drive is no longer recognizing DVDs. Must fix at some point, if possible. One trusted hardware geek says it's probably the hardware failing, the other says the software got fucked up somehow. Going to have to test out some stuff to figure out what real problem is. While I'm at it, I should order a replacement for the video card . . .

Stepped on the sharp end of a hammer a little while ago, and cut my foot directly in the center of the ball, right where all my weight goes when I step. It stings like fuck. Walking is going to be interesting for a while.

Been brooding lately upon subject of two friends having hollywood divorce and my reactions to that. Decided I need to write a letter to both of them rather than having thoughts rattling around in my head and driving me crazy. Don't want to start letter, as it is going to be masterpiece of angst, but am feeling really awkward in situation and see no other way of resolving it. Am really scared as I love both of these guys like sisters and don't want either of them to disown me, which I would be worried about anyway even if there wasn't a chance of that happening. I guess it's the fear that bad things will happen if I let someone see what I really think or feel. Bleh. *looks for nearest available rock to hide under.*

On the bright side:

• Allergies seem to be settling down just a little.
  
• There is MST3K on tomorrow morning.
  
• There is Samurai Jack on tomorrow night, and damn it, I'm not going to miss it this time! It's been waaaaaay too long since my last Jack fix. *drool*
  
• The dumb boy cat, even though he is annoying as fuck some days, seems to like me a whole lot.
  
• I really did enjoy the Matrix last night, though a few things here and there bothered me about it. Then again the first one wasn't without its flaws (I thought the bit where Trinity's kiss brings Neo back to life cheezy as hell and still cringe at the bit of dialogue immediately preceding), but I still love it like crazy. I think I need to see Reloaded a couple more times, for the Burly Brawl, the Freeway, the Merovigian, the Twins, and the underground Zion rave. (harinezumi, though I'm with you on the sex scene (gaggh, Keanu Reeves naked) I disagree with you on the Zion depiction. I want me a giant underground rave damn it! With whatever music that was playing underneath it. And if anything I thought the mechas were gratuitous fanservice, as it's no secret the Wachowskis are influenced by anime. Ugh, exoskeleton suits . . . must be a testosterone thing.)
  
• The fifth Harry Potter will be out next month. Got a copy reserved at spacecrime already. Can't wait.
  
  So . . . not all bad. But will be limping around for a while.
  
  Sleep is good.

Comments

[blueraccoon.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much consolation it is, but I'm a year out of Smith and still no yellow latin-covered piece of paper for me, either. And I had the scary realization that if I wait another year I'll be old enough to go back as an Ada.

I haven't accomplished much, either--from where I sit, you got the better deal. I'm still living at *home*, okay--and currently unemployed at th moment. So! Shall we commiserate together?

Prescription:
take two *squeeeeeeeeeezies* and call me as needed. (Refills: as many as needed)