Ever get that feeling

when you bite your nails down to thier very quicks and then that's not enough so you then start chewing off the skin around them and now suddenly all of your fingertips are raw and sore?

I feel like biking on the interstate without a helmet right now. Not that I actually normally wear one.

Time to go find some lunch and to see if i actually have any cute little OB bullets left in my backback. That's what they look like without applicators. Little cotton bullets. Bet they'd still hurt like a sonofabitch if you fired them from something. like bb's. only kinda gross in concept, if not in actuality. There should be a place where you can turn in a piece of feminine paraphenalia and receive chocolate in return. Pooey.

Fuck this

Oh look! Yellow bread mold! fascinating, really. And isn't it cute how it always hides at the other end of the bread bag so that you don't see it until you've already opened the bag? or even worse, when you're already touching the bread?

I must be getting better at the whole mold thing. Instead of dropping the bag, screaming and running away, I merely regarded the offending substance with cold distaste and tossed it into the kitchen trash. So maybe I am getting better - though I don't think I'm going to go looking for the original spamcam web site and download possible wallpaper images. I quite like my full screen shot from Kenya currently up. (it's the bit just before the lion slides down the giraffe leg.)

oh, fuck it. I'm ordering Chinese food.

ugh

Things I crave whilst bleeding like stuck pig:
-chocolate
-caffeine
-sugar
-meeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaat

Things I probably shouldn't have whilst bleeding like stuck pig:
-chocolate
-caffeine
-sugar
-meeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaat

Things I consumed voraciously today and am now sorely regretting:
-Hershey kisses with caramel. Whoever came up with this should be canonized.
-a gargantuan Dunkin Donuts coffee (xtra/xtra), Cherry coke
-see above.
-Chicken with broccoli, tuna maki

Reasons I am sorely regretting this:
-nasty taste in mouth and all down esophagus. Next stop after livejournal is a date with the tongue scraper, dental floss, Listerine and Interplak.
-tummy ache. Probably from the kisses, but most likely from the cream in the coffee.
-gas. Gotta love the explosive combination of broccoli and brown garlic sauce
-cramps. nothing like caffeine to make Mr. Uterus work overtime.

Race, according to Nabisco

The racial commentary presented by the cookie aisle of stop and shop never fails to amuse me. Especially now that there are like 90 different sorts of Oreos out there.

It used to be just the black cookies with pure white cream filling. These are rather special to my heart - I don't particularly care for Oreo cookies as a snack food, but considering how many times the term has been tossed in my general direction, I kind of feel a sort of begrudging affinity with the little things. Plus I kinda get mesmerized by the precision cut relief design on the cookies... but anyway. black cookies. White insides. Your basic Oreo.

From here on in, you get increasingly complicated.

• Doublestuf oreos. black cookies. Double the white insides. Black Republicans? Clarence Thomas?
  
• Christmas Oreos. Black cookies, red cream. Native Negro American?
  
• Christmas Oreos, grinch edition. Black cookies, green cream. Extraterrestrial-Americans of African descent? (Outkast? Hey ya!)
  
• Chocolate creme Oreos. Ph33r the bl4ck c00kie. Fight the power. Ungawa.
  
• fudge covered Oreos. Okay, black cookies, white creme, fudge layer. I'd say these are the overeducated niggaz that seriously overcompensate by being all gangsta.
  
• White fudge covered Oreos. Just think, every time you eat these, you are eating the closest thing to Michael Jackson in cookie form. Keep these away from your sons, y'all.
  
• Oreo Uh-ohs. White cookies, chocolate creme. Lets not even go here.
  
• Golden Oreos. Well, we were leaving out the Asians.
  
• Golden Oreo Uh-ohs. Okay, my head just exploded, though just before my synapses hit the wall methinks I saw the grinning face of Tiger Woods.
  
• I'd make some deep observations of the implications of Spring Oreos and Halloween Oreos, but I'd have to retreive my brainmeats from around the room and put them back in my head and that's too much like work right now.

*shakes head* I'm going to Hell.