Night Rider

Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow'd night,
Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.

- William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet

I swear sometimes if I could, I'd be completely nocturnal. Nights like this, clear and cold and so starry you could cut glass with the little twinkly diamonds up there, make that idea even more attractive. *shakes head* some one told me I should totally be a graveyard shifter somewhere, but those kinds of jobs usually require a driver's license. *laugh*

I took a 12 mile ride tonight. Yes it was dark and kinda crazy of me, but I hadn't really left the house in like forty eight hours and I needed some air and some distance, you know? So I hit the trail going across the bridge, then switched to Rt 9 cause it was better lit (in places anyway - glad I took sunny's flashlight with me, though I think I'm going to get me a couple of Maglites and duct tape them to my handlebars. Maybe then I'll avoid that pothole I accidentally rode into on the way back - oops. Ow, my tailbone.)

I love riding or walking though Northampton late at night, love the deserted sleepy feel of the streets. Even the dark places on the trail didn't seem at all threatening. It's so funny, you grow up in the city and especially if you're a girl you get it drilled into your head that you need to stay in well lit places, stay out of dark alleyways and some such, and as a result when I first came up here I was pretty deathly afraid of wandering around anywhere in the pitch black. Now I prefer it - somehow I feel safer in the dark, knowing you have to really be looking in order to see me, and feel oddly exposed in the puddle of light cast by sodium streetlamps. I guess I feel like you can be seen under streetlights, but no one knows your there in the dark. And besides, who can feel anything but safe when the gigantic form of Orion is rising in the East? :) I always welcome the mid october night when I look up and see him for the first time - it's like okay. It is now officially fall. I don't care how many leaves have fallen at that point, it's not real until I see Orion (and say nothing).

Sixish miles from home, blood churning hotly through me when I skid into a familiar driveway at the beginning of a new day, just to give a boy a birthday hug and kiss and put him to bed, and then ride back. I'm so silly. But, as I commented earlier, I keep this up and you'll be able to bounce a quarter off my big black booty. :D We'll just pretend we didn't notice us walking up that last hill instead of biking up it. Stupid asthma.

Pretty pretty pretty stars.

Ahem.

*pokey*

yo aisha7576 & morlock,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! *

* (slightly belated in aisha's case)

hmmph

I think club and poly meetup will be good for me tonight, as I spent all of today in varying grades of raucous annoyance. Mostly at myself and shit I need to accomplish and the usual celebrity batshit circus of keeping atop the chaos that constantly surrounds me (shit, that's exhausting some days), but of course stemming from that is annoyance at outside things that probably normally would not warrent such a reaction. Anyway, I've been rather petulant and waspish all afternoon, and may be this evening as well - hopefully I'll get to dance it out of my system later. I'm hoping it's just birthday weekend denouement and not something too much deeper than that.

In good news today, I told the gang at work about Thursday's little surprise and got the laugh of the week in return from rukasboy, who said he'd even go in drag if he got to be my something of something. The thought of OMG hot boy in girldrag is really hilarious. I'm going to see if I can redeem that offer in some other direction, but in the meantime, now that the *garghk* OMG? phase is over I get to enter the wonderful world of worrying, especially about the prospect of giving my folks the news. Other than Stanley, who's cool. *sigh* I dunno, I have the weird sinking feeling that the time ahead will entail some serious personal demon facage, which scares the crap out of me, but I'm trying really hard to stop myself from running screaming and to do something constructive with this shit. Cause, you know what, it's really fucking exhausting being scared of shit all the time, especially as I know how driven and powerful I can get when I let go of the fear and accomplish things. Also need to think about how serious of a wedding thing this is going to be - I really don't want a five ring circus. I want something different, more low key, less formal... I guess instead of "come witness us do this thing," I want more of a "come help us celebrate this." so more focus on party than ceremony I guess. But things are liable to change as sunny and I think about this more. Right now on the to do list is find her ring by our anniversary next month, and get around to the very nasty business of informing the folks that they no longer have the option of plausible deniability.

...plausible deniability. Jeez. Somebody's been watching a wee bit much of Law & Order lately.

Anycrap. That's your glimpse into the headspace for today. I need to go do dishes and other stuff before the meetup and the havening so I'd best bounce.

dot dot dot

Okay, mildly cranky has just blossomed into... I don't know - not twenty minutes ago I nearly grabbed a cup that had fallen out of the dish cabinet as I was putting the dishes away ('cause it clearly fell out to spite me, don'tcha know) and flung it across the room.

teh fuck?

*deep breath* maybe I should go eat something.

[edit] oh hell no, I'd better NOT be getting sick on top of this... *fume*