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Penis and Goliath
Jun. 30th, 2006 12:49 amI can't for the life of me remember the word for "Friday" in French. Seriously, my brain's running in circles around it. I remember the rest of the damn days - lundi, mardi, mercredi, jeudi, (blank), samedi, dimanche. Seriously, that what my brain's been doing for the past ten minutes. and yes, I know I could look it up, after all the Internet is not just for porn. But that would be cheating.
Ever have one of those days where you become aware that you and others around you are merely pawns in the games of gods? And upon realizing that, have you then realized that those gods are not kind ones? I think I'm having one of those weeks. Months. Fuck it. Lives. *sigh* okay, maybe not lives, that seems a wee bit emo and dramatic even for a livejournal post. But every so often I hit a good patch of time where I must rail in full King Lear "blow wind and crack your cheeks" at the storms raging in my head, often of my own making.
...incidentally that quote gains a whole new level of nuance if you think about wind and cheeks differently. Or if the first time you read King Lear was in 8th grade. Which is why most kids probably shouldn't read Shakespeare at that age. Even the innocuous lines become unexpectedly funny with a change of inflection, like "Bring me my longsword, ho!" Really it's the same reason why kids probably shouldn't be allowed anywhere near any Greek, Roman or Rennaissance sculpture until they reach the age of majority. I mean yes, David was probably a grower, not a shower (though if you think about it, David's wang at rest was about 9"... which meant it would probably swell to around 18" or so and would therefore put said sniggering boys to shame) and I doubt Michaelangelo was Jewish, so there's absolutely no reason why David would be divested of his foreskin (though that's an interesting point - wasn't David Jewish?
Okay now see where this train of thought has gotten me. I really don't need to be up trying to remember if Michaelangelo's David had a foreskin, especially as it's late enough for at least one punchy voice in my head to be singing "Ol' Mike's David had a bris, E-I-E-I-O.
... well according to Google Image Search, no, David didn't actually (though he should have had one! Talk about your historical inaccuracy there!). We have foreskin ladies, and gentlemen. Well, not me personally. But you know what I mean.
Here's what Wikipedia had to say about it:
"There is controversy, however, over the statue's supposed Biblical reference, since the statue portrays an uncircumcised male, whereas the historical King David was undoubtedly circumcised. Because of this fact, some art historians believe that "David" was actually the name of the model who posed for the statue, rather than King David himself, and that Michelangelo claimed the Biblical reference to make it acceptable to the Christian world. It has also been suggested that this was a conscious decision in Michelangelo's endeavor to emulate the ancient Greek aesthetic ideals, which regarded the circumcised penis as mutilated. Again, these theories are merely speculation."
BTW, the word I was looking for was vendredi. Yes, I gave up and looked. I feel so unclean somehow, but that probably has more to do with the fact that I spent the last 20 or so minutes babbling about the penis on a scary looking 500 year old hunka hunka burnin' marble. *sigh* I can't even use being drunk as an excuse.
On that note, I should stop.
Ever have one of those days where you become aware that you and others around you are merely pawns in the games of gods? And upon realizing that, have you then realized that those gods are not kind ones? I think I'm having one of those weeks. Months. Fuck it. Lives. *sigh* okay, maybe not lives, that seems a wee bit emo and dramatic even for a livejournal post. But every so often I hit a good patch of time where I must rail in full King Lear "blow wind and crack your cheeks" at the storms raging in my head, often of my own making.
...incidentally that quote gains a whole new level of nuance if you think about wind and cheeks differently. Or if the first time you read King Lear was in 8th grade. Which is why most kids probably shouldn't read Shakespeare at that age. Even the innocuous lines become unexpectedly funny with a change of inflection, like "Bring me my longsword, ho!" Really it's the same reason why kids probably shouldn't be allowed anywhere near any Greek, Roman or Rennaissance sculpture until they reach the age of majority. I mean yes, David was probably a grower, not a shower (though if you think about it, David's wang at rest was about 9"... which meant it would probably swell to around 18" or so and would therefore put said sniggering boys to shame) and I doubt Michaelangelo was Jewish, so there's absolutely no reason why David would be divested of his foreskin (though that's an interesting point - wasn't David Jewish?
Okay now see where this train of thought has gotten me. I really don't need to be up trying to remember if Michaelangelo's David had a foreskin, especially as it's late enough for at least one punchy voice in my head to be singing "Ol' Mike's David had a bris, E-I-E-I-O.
... well according to Google Image Search, no, David didn't actually (though he should have had one! Talk about your historical inaccuracy there!). We have foreskin ladies, and gentlemen. Well, not me personally. But you know what I mean.
Here's what Wikipedia had to say about it:
"There is controversy, however, over the statue's supposed Biblical reference, since the statue portrays an uncircumcised male, whereas the historical King David was undoubtedly circumcised. Because of this fact, some art historians believe that "David" was actually the name of the model who posed for the statue, rather than King David himself, and that Michelangelo claimed the Biblical reference to make it acceptable to the Christian world. It has also been suggested that this was a conscious decision in Michelangelo's endeavor to emulate the ancient Greek aesthetic ideals, which regarded the circumcised penis as mutilated. Again, these theories are merely speculation."
BTW, the word I was looking for was vendredi. Yes, I gave up and looked. I feel so unclean somehow, but that probably has more to do with the fact that I spent the last 20 or so minutes babbling about the penis on a scary looking 500 year old hunka hunka burnin' marble. *sigh* I can't even use being drunk as an excuse.
On that note, I should stop.
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