It's okay to still wake up and be hurt over something five years after the fact. Just means something about it didn't get addressed or I didn't allow myself enough time to heal the first time. And you know what happens if something isn't healed and you try to go on functioning like normal.
Also... I don't have to be a rock/island all the time. I wish I knew how to give myself permission to be hurt/angry when things bother me rather than after the fact, when I've met shit fester for a while. Even then it's not so much giving myself permission, it's exploding. Which is worse.
My doctor called me an undercomplainer... I think that's not only true about physical pain. I don't know how to be any other way though... especially since it always seems like when I do complain to people when they're bugging me, it always seems like they won't listen unless I'm pitching a tantrum. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? **
ETA: last paragraph edited for clarification and to sound less emo.
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