Imprimus, quinto

from triplemare:

1. How would you describe your personal style? (other than, yanno, "mine" or "personal")

Day to day: comfy. I'm pretty strictly a t-shirt and slacks type of girl.
Dress-up: goth hippie gypsy. at least that's more or less where I'm aimed.

2. What makes you happiest?

Lots of things make me happy. Time to read. A good bouncy song to dance to. Curling up and hanging with people I care about and doing nothing but mooch about and watch TV/read/play games/etc.

3. If there was anything in your past that you would change - knowing that it would irrevocably change your current situation - would you?

I'd probably have tussled out this self-esteem issue I have ass-long ago. More on that later.

4. What is your morning routine?

Get up, make coffee and breakfast, take a handful of pills (scripts and vitamins), fart around on the internet, make the bed, get dressed, brush teeth, head out the door. Most of this gets done every morning, the farting on the internet is the only constant.

5. Having staggered to your favorite pile of pirate/ninja treasure, you open the box to peer at your ________?

My favorite pile? hmm. That would contain favors from lovers past, a string of Japanese mon, a red hachimaki, doubloons from every corner of the empire, and one simple threadbare shift to remind me of my days afore piracy.

Secundus: I live!

I don't know what the blessed bloody hell happened to me yesterday, but good gods, it was nasty. The good news that lots of liquid and sleep seems to have gotten the worst of it out of my system and I woke up this morning feeling much better.

But oog. No more chinese food I think for a while, or at least nothing that tastes like chicken with broccoli in brown garlic sauce. Gah.

Anyway, I'm taking the fact that I'm actually hungry this morning as a good sign, and plan to take it easy today. Cream of rice, I think, is in order, seeing as my guts are still kinda sore.

I've finished Hell and Earth as well, and am amused at how that took me far less time to finish than Ink and Steel. Much less slashy, and more with the political intrigue/sorcery, but I'm really okay with that. Onwards to The Scar, and then I'm done with and can return all the borrowed books.

Meme whorage:

Get your own valentinr

Being trapped in bed with the sicks also gives one time to think, in between the times when distracting oneself with books doesn't work. I've been revisiting the topic of this entry a lot (yeah, it's locked, sorry - basically, me whining about my lack of self-esteem) and realizing just how badly this has undermined all of my relationships in the last six or so years, not to mention risen up to bite me in the ass for the last decade and a half. My first temptation is to winnow out where it all started, but I'm not giving into that sort of navel gazing behavior this time - you don't treat cancer by trying to pinpoint which cell started the rampant illegal multiplying, you go after what's already there with the nastiest chemicals/radiation the patient can stand. Cause goddamn it, I'm 30 years old, and I'm damn sick of letting my own lack of faith in myself fuck up my life (and by extension, other people's lives) anymore.

So mote it be. *decisive nod* and now to give into the growlings of my stomach and test whether I can eat something sorta solid.

Today (Twitter style.)

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