Junk Mail the 13th - the Inbox of Jason!
Apr. 17th, 2004 09:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kjpepperWell, peeps, it's Saturday, and I have a ton of work to do this weekend, which can only mean one thing - time for another installment of JUNK MAIL! ("And there was much rejoicing." "Yay.")
Rumsfeld -- caught on camera - Ugh. Now there is something I want to see even less than the Paris Hilton video.
Come Watch Little Pansy's blow wads on each other - Now really, leave the pansies alone and let them pollenate in peace. Honestly, must these people turn everything into something grotesquely sexual?
Normal girls turned hoes! - You know, these conversions from human females to garden implements must stop. Though the idea of guys humping long-handled gardening tools for the survival of the species is pretty amusing.
perplex calf poland - I have no desire to confuse small Polish cows. I'm sure they're confused enough. (no that was NOT a Polish joke.)
Streach your length guys - using a technique used since medieval times. Guaranteed to add a few inches to your overall length! This device is a miracle! Many satisfied customers! Works on both men and women! Only $129.99! ORDER "THE RACK" TODAY! *may cause dislocation and muscle tearing. Use as directed.
hornee+neighbor=lucky - Um... Have you SEEN my neighbors? I don't think so. Of course, considering our penchant for wandering around the house naked with the windows open, I'm sure our neighbors are pretty lucky. Especially if they own binoculars.
1onley annd gettingg 0ld are yah - Aren't we all.
Instant access to hot gay beefcakes - *click* *no beefcake manifests* Hey! False advertising!
cum swap 2004 - Um... Why is this evoking images of a seriously pornographic tag sale?
Bake Back the White House! - Reminds me of that bumper sticker about education and bombers. Ah well... *bakes cookies* better my chocolate chips than my tax dollars. :)
we teach her to f u ck 7 guys at once - using our handy seven tape course and practice materials. With our included coupon, we will also send you your 7 guys. (please notify if your guys are diseased or dead upon arrival - we will resend.)
Hmm. Hey Diccky! I think Tkzsz is still looking for a date...
<shameless plug>Past Junk Mail can either be found on my web site (sporadically updated), or in my Memories (slightly more likely to be updated)</shameless plug>
Rumsfeld -- caught on camera - Ugh. Now there is something I want to see even less than the Paris Hilton video.
Come Watch Little Pansy's blow wads on each other - Now really, leave the pansies alone and let them pollenate in peace. Honestly, must these people turn everything into something grotesquely sexual?
Normal girls turned hoes! - You know, these conversions from human females to garden implements must stop. Though the idea of guys humping long-handled gardening tools for the survival of the species is pretty amusing.
perplex calf poland - I have no desire to confuse small Polish cows. I'm sure they're confused enough. (no that was NOT a Polish joke.)
Streach your length guys - using a technique used since medieval times. Guaranteed to add a few inches to your overall length! This device is a miracle! Many satisfied customers! Works on both men and women! Only $129.99! ORDER "THE RACK" TODAY! *may cause dislocation and muscle tearing. Use as directed.
hornee+neighbor=lucky - Um... Have you SEEN my neighbors? I don't think so. Of course, considering our penchant for wandering around the house naked with the windows open, I'm sure our neighbors are pretty lucky. Especially if they own binoculars.
1onley annd gettingg 0ld are yah - Aren't we all.
Instant access to hot gay beefcakes - *click* *no beefcake manifests* Hey! False advertising!
cum swap 2004 - Um... Why is this evoking images of a seriously pornographic tag sale?
Bake Back the White House! - Reminds me of that bumper sticker about education and bombers. Ah well... *bakes cookies* better my chocolate chips than my tax dollars. :)
we teach her to f u ck 7 guys at once - using our handy seven tape course and practice materials. With our included coupon, we will also send you your 7 guys. (please notify if your guys are diseased or dead upon arrival - we will resend.)
Honorable mentions
A world of amusement waits just a click away. *snrrk* here are two that I actually cracked open to read:He called her Elmo (or was it Elmo?).necromancer defined by, briar patch for support group, and CEO related to are what made America great!burglar related to bestow great honor upon umbrella beyond cloud formation, because buzzard beyond spider make a truce with hole puncher around. When you see curse defined by, it means that customer from reads a magazine. A few girls (and toward paper napkin) to arrive at a state of bonbon.O_o . . . 'Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe...? What do these people do, sit around and play The Exquisite Corpse to compose these things?
Here is what you can expect from taking CIALAPREN:I'm not even going to comment about the repeated use of the word "DICCKY," I'm already about to dislocate a rib from laughing. But... is anyone else mildly disturbed by what happens by week 9? Sweet Jesus, no wonder there have been a rash of bodybuilder possesions lately. I mean come on, Diccky's taking on harder bodies! And you thought you had trouble just stuffing it down a pants leg. Try rolling up an entire bodybuilder and buttoning your 501s.
WEEK 1-3: Your DICCKY will experience greater and longer lasting erec--tion
WEEK 4-8: Your DICCKY will have grown in lenngth and will possess much more thickness
WEEK 9+: Your DICCKY will have taken on a new body of much harder & healthier
Hmm. Hey Diccky! I think Tkzsz is still looking for a date...
<shameless plug>Past Junk Mail can either be found on my web site (sporadically updated), or in my Memories (slightly more likely to be updated)</shameless plug>
