Who wants to help me fuck with random asstard? *evil evil smile*

[kjpepper]

It's the full moon folks, and every time there's a full moon, I get the urge to seriously mess with someone. Random people are a plus. Random assholes? even better. :)

Perfect victim for May? This guy.


*waits for folks to read profile*


I wanna fatbomb him soooooooooooo bad. For no other reason other than it will amuse fuckall out of me. basically, next time he signs on, I want his mailbox to be filled with messages from fat girls, girlbois, boigrrls, or boys. Preferably graphically describing the performance of watersports, scat (the music, or the fetish), tit-slapping, or some other thing upon his person that's liable to make him run screaming into the Velvet Room on ArsTechnica from whence he came and complained about fat girls messaging him in the first place. Actually, come to think of it, you needn't be fat to mess with this one's head. Nothing inflammatory, mind. Just very... creative. Like maybe cutting off his testicles and using them as ben-wa balls? :) Oh, apparently he doesn't like vegans or Christians either, so if you can work in tofu or Jesus, that will be grand. I'm going for twisted, funny, and sick, not "you're an asshole" he obviously knows that well enough!

Is there a point to this? No. Is it bratty? Yep. Will it make me and everyone else scream with laughter? Oh, boyohboyohboy, will it ever. And I could use the laugh.

Wanna help? Got an OKcupid account? Yay. Leave me a comment, let me know what you said or will say. And feel free to pass this entry around. The more help I can get on this one, the better.

According to Llewellen's Witches calendar, there's a full moon today, and the color for the day is black. Awhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

update: okay, so obviously I couldn't issue a challenge like the above without starting shit myself. So I sent off something completely whacked. If you want to read what, check out my comments.

Man I haven't giggled so hard in my life.

update again: as I explained my little stunt to sundart this morning, she didn't really understand why I chose to have a little bit of random fun with this guy, what purpose it might serve. Some of you may be wondering the same thing. I think it can be explained best in the words of Arlo Guthrie:

And the only reason I'm singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if you're in a situation like that there's only one thing you can do, and that's walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in and say "Shrink, you can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant." And walk out.

You know, if one person does it they may think he's really sick and they won't take him. And if two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them. And if three people do it... can you imagine, three people walking in singing a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out? They may think it's an organization. And can you imagine fifty people a day walking in, singing a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out? They may thinks it's a movement. And that's what it is, the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacree Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the guitar.

Random and sick is pretty good by me, but I'm really amused by the idea of a whole bunch of people fatbombing this guy as part of the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Sizeist Movement. Sometimes random and silly forms of protest can get the message across just as effectively as rampant, angry soapboxing, no?

Comments

[rhipowered.livejournal.com]

Crud. I'll think about it.

Here's what I sent.

[kjpepper.livejournal.com]

subject: your profile got me so hot...

Ooh, Visigothan! Something about your profile compelled me to write to you. Perhaps it was your unabashed admission that your cock was bigger than mine could ever aspire to be. Perhaps it was the Fat Chicks Do Not Message sign. But something about your profile fills me with the urge to shove one hand between my large, trembling thighs and quiver at the thought of you dressed in liederhosen and with an alpinehorn carefully wedged into the delicate pucker of your ass. I sigh at the vision of that little smirk disappearing between my legs as I sit on your face, whilst you serenade me on the aforementioned alpinehorn with your best rendition of "The Lonely Goatherd" from Roger's and Hammerstein's timeless classic, the Sound of Music. Oh hell, make it a whole medley from the musical, that just gets me hotter. My ample assmeats twitch at the thought of your arrogant smirk and your soul patch is so... twisted. I like that! Oh, Visigothan, prove your love to me, castrate yourself so that I may bronze your obviously gargantuan testes, place them on a string and make them into the worlds finest pair of ben-wa balls, whilst I tan your scrotum and thereafter immortalize it on my desk as the exalted receptacle for my pens and pencils! I want you my darling! Message me, you delectable creature! I yearn for showtunes...

Re: Here's what I sent.

[zadnyl.livejournal.com]

Nice

Re: Here's what I sent.

[sundart.livejournal.com]

subject: I had to message you...

I had a dream last night about you. All I had to do was see your picture here on okcupid, and my mind is filled with miraculaous visions. Visions of the two of us, in bed together, under the all-knowing face of the giant glow-in-the-dark poster of Jesus that overlooks my room. He watches over me while I am sleeping. Better yet, he watches me have sex. I love Jesus. He makes me so hot. But back to the dream I had... you were licking the creases where my stomach bulges over itself in waves of creamy skin and eating tofu off my chest. Then somehow Jesus came down off the wall and started fucking you up the ass. I was cheering for Him and waving a little flag, like at a ball game. And He was dripping blood on your back, like where the crown of thorns goes through his skin on his forehead, and I was licking it up. Mmmm... boy, it was great. You and Jesus both make me so hot. Sweet Visigothan, I will think of you today when I eat tofu.

Re: Here's what I sent.

[kjpepper.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's why I married you.

ow, ow, ow, diaphragm cramp...

Re: Here's what I sent.

[smithie.livejournal.com]

You are terrifying, Lel. A literary genuis, yes. But terrifying.

Blood, tofu... eeeeeeugh.

[twilighter.livejournal.com]

High-larious! You ladies are killin' me!

:P