(no subject)

[kjpepper]

I keep thinking I hear thunder rolling in the distance. Of course, this could just be the traffic outside, or a passing plane... but still...

It's funny, I feel like I haven't been posting much lately, but a quick check on my recent entries proves I've been about as loquacious as per usual, considering my internet connection is still a mite tenuous at this point. currently I'm sharing morlock's, but the signal in the apartment is erratic at best. Especially when we're online simultaneously.

I donno, I guess I'm feeling... blocked from posting somehow. LJ used to be my lifeline, and I did religiously scribble down the passing inanities of my life fairly religiously up until now. But as the weather gets warmer and other things demand my attention, I find that finally I'm easily distracted from my computer these days. Of course that could just be cause I don't have a place to sit with it right now other than the kitchen, and sundart's kitchen chairs aren't exactly the most comfy things in the world.

There's so much going on right now, and it all still too locked up in my head to escape through the tappings of my fingers. Actually, I can't write it out either - I tried this afternoon during a break from work, and it didn't work, I found myself staring at a blank page, and all I could coax out of my pen was a doodle. So when it comes to the stuff actually going on, I guess the written word's deserted me. *sigh* One moment I think I've settled into some semblance of calm and the next everything is jumbly again. Not just because of outside stuff. Things are jangly in my head too, which is exasperating at best, enraging at worst, cause I really can't do headnoise right now. But part of me acknowledges that maybe right now is the quietest it's been up there, and thus it's the perfect opportunity to dust off and examine the shadowy corners of my brain once again... at my leisure, of course. On the other hand, it leaves me with this mounting sense of frustration so intense that I would gladly hack a chunk out of my arm just to relieve the tension and to... I don't know, feel something else. As it is, I'm just restless, fretfully avoiding projects and painful trains of thought and gladly escaping through oft read books and other people's dramas.

Anyway, in light of the jangly noise and the not so comfy chair, somehow I don't have the patience to record my day to day rambles with the diligence I used to have. I'm sure much of this is due to not being quite settled yet here and it will resolve in time... 'Course... don't I always feel like this once the weather crests 85 degrees? *sigh* summer's never meant anything other than long tedious days, uncomfortable temperatures, and frayed nerves to me.

ok, this is me stopping before I thoroughly depress myself.

Comments

Snile

[(Anonymous)]

When things get you down thats when you turn to your closest friends for support but asking for help is always the hardest step to take. After that things slowly start to get easier. Just my own experiences have taught me that. Hope all gets better soon let me or d know if we can help out in anyway
Jay

[austingoddess.livejournal.com]

If words suck, art is the thing. The more hands on the better - fingerpaints are the absolute best.