kjpepper: (batshit tenna (talk to spooky))
[personal profile] kjpepper
Cleaning out my junk mail folder this evening, I found the following gems:

latin lady loovers cap - bypassing the given speculation on what precise sort of headgear a loovers cap actually is, it's not clear who gets to wear said thing.

the one sure way for you to make tits l a r g e - Note they didn't say this makes your own tits large. Naturally this means that you can use this unknown method to enlarge random people's tits. Pling! You are a D! Pling! you are a GG! My, but you'd be the best friend of porn stars and M to F transsexuals.

iq the FUULLL you inside herrffv - Looks like someone got so excited they had a hairball.

Straighten yoour sword -- why waitt? - Why wait indeed! I've got this broadsword in the back room with this hideous kink in it...

I want to fuucckk, not date tkzsz - I wouldn't want to date tkzsz either. I mean, think about it. In the extreme unlikelihood that this tkzsz entity is NOT a evil chthonic deity, he's got to be emotionally damaged from having to go through grade school with a name like that.

Kjpepper Dare To Save Big Bucks - No thank you. I'd rather kill off the big ones so that the little scrawny ones have a chance to get big, grow some antlers, and mate with all the does in the neighborhood.

A natural big breasted ebony poserSY - as opposed to a fake big breasted ebony poser?

a WH0LE fist 1n her snatch - Been there, done that. Next!

Enjoy hardcore action for life - you know . . . even I get tired of sex every so often.

grow yourself a lovestick8 - Somebody call Jude Devereax and Beatrice Small. I think this is one euphamism they haven't used.

be the guy with the biggest fry! - Yeah, you and the McD's Fry guys have fun comparing the size of your fries. I'll be over here, far away from you.

DNCC05TTr0ublee with yoouur wangerrccuy - Is this the junk mail equivelant of attempting to nail the thin, elusive signal of the BBC using a shortwave radio?

Free allergy sample - Really. I have enough allergies of my own without sampling others. Even if they are free.

Kjpepper, ÔÓÒÁÎËÜÍÀß ÏÐÀÂÄÀ ! - Jumping Jehosephat Yeehaa? I mean, really, what do you say to that?

gettheleadoutofyourpecker6 - that's what mechanical pencils are for.

add size to your lovestick7 - hee hee . . . . lovestick. Pulsating, throbbing lovestick. That's almost as good as "manmeat" in my opinion.

Date: 2003-09-04 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] athene.livejournal.com
oh honey! you crack me up! I was laughing so hard, I almost pissed my pants :)

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