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kjpepper...things really were as simple as I'd like them to be.
...I could hold on to my fast dissolving rose colored glasses.
...reality didn't always have to suck so much.
...I didn't sound like such a spoiled whiny bitch when I get like this.
...I didn't feel like I always get dealt an interesting but essentially worthless hand all the time.
...I could take things at face value and trust them for what they are.
...I could rewind time so I could do the dumb things better and the good things over again, just as they were.
...I felt like I could cry over silly things without getting any shit from anyone, both inside my head and outside.
...I didn't feel like I swallowed something spiky that is now stuck midway down my throat.
...everything was as easy as kissing the booboos better.
...I could forget everything again, just for a little while longer.
...I didn't have this sour feeling in my mouth.
...I didn't have to deal with the aftermath of concerned "Are you okay??"s this post is going to generate, and yet somehow i crave the attention.
...I could feel like I could feel something without second-guessing it somehow.
...I didn't hurt so much.
Mais c'est ma vie maintenant.
Merde. Je déteste tout.
...I could hold on to my fast dissolving rose colored glasses.
...reality didn't always have to suck so much.
...I didn't sound like such a spoiled whiny bitch when I get like this.
...I didn't feel like I always get dealt an interesting but essentially worthless hand all the time.
...I could take things at face value and trust them for what they are.
...I could rewind time so I could do the dumb things better and the good things over again, just as they were.
...I felt like I could cry over silly things without getting any shit from anyone, both inside my head and outside.
...I didn't feel like I swallowed something spiky that is now stuck midway down my throat.
...everything was as easy as kissing the booboos better.
...I could forget everything again, just for a little while longer.
...I didn't have this sour feeling in my mouth.
...I didn't have to deal with the aftermath of concerned "Are you okay??"s this post is going to generate, and yet somehow i crave the attention.
...I could feel like I could feel something without second-guessing it somehow.
...I didn't hurt so much.
Mais c'est ma vie maintenant.
Merde. Je déteste tout.
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"an interesting but essentially worthless hand"
Date: 2003-10-20 11:53 pm (UTC)I'm sorry that you are/were feeling this way, and sorry that while you have been there for me during my recent "Aaaaaggggghhhhh!!!!!" moments, I always seem to be ignorant of yours until they've passed.
I have one thing to say, albeit belatedly: regardless of the hand you've been dealt, you play a mean game of poker. You are nurturing, talented, intelligent, beautiful, funny, open-minded, strong, and self-aware. You're someone I love and admire, someone who's enriched my life simply by being a part of it.
Shit, if I don't sound like a Hallmark card. Oh well. It's sappy but sincere. I too wish that you didn't hurt so much, or that I could kiss the booboo better.
*kiss* (It doesn't hurt to try....)