kjpepper | Well crapkakke.

It dawned on me today that I have written not a single bit of fiction, not even a sentence, in over a year, possibly two. This is unacceptable for a number of reasons:

Writing used to be my fucking lifeline. There were stretches of time in the past where I would be content to simply hole up in my room and bury myself in worlds and stories that had little to do with life as I normally know it, only stopping to eat, sleep and go to school. The last time that happened for real was almost five years ago, and the story was strictly game related, with an audience of my role playing group. But seriously... there was a time where I was sustained and fed spiritual by the worlds I spun onto blank pages and somewhere during my tenure at Smith that completely derailed... for years afterword, except the semester I took a writing short stories class, I only wrote sporadically, but it seemed like it was enough, but now I'm not writing AT ALL. No fucking wonder I've been feeling so creatively dismal lately!
I just spent the last hour and a half reading through the folder of story fragments, scenes, introductions and vignettes I've migrated from computer to computer since I revived Master Freak after his hard drive crash (thus wiping out almost everything I'd ever written up to my first year in college). Despite that loss, it's still a good ten years of unrealized potential there, especially since some of them after this long were actually pretty good. Not to mention I've had a couple of stories and characters kicking and screaming in my head for a few weeks now.
What's his face at the ORF was right... It's time for me to stop hiding my poems/writings and start, well getting them out there. I'd like to have something published sometime... and not just in Dream's library. I know when the groove hits me and I put my brain into it I can write good shit... I just need to fucking sit down, find my long-gone focus, and just do it.

So. Long story short, I am totally doing NaNoWriMo. We'll see how it goes leading up to it, and afterwards. Also, am definitely hauling my ass back into therapy. Time to start actually dealing with the whole ADD issue, I think...