kjpepper | whizzTHUNK

I honestly don't see how people can watch TV without a fully loaded Nerf gun. It enhances my viewing experience astronomically.

Try it at home. Go to Walmart or Target. Buy Nerf revolvers and an extra pack of ammo. Return home. Turn on broadcast TV. Assign point values for things that annoy you. Fire at will. Savor the unique whizzTHUNK of dart hitting TV and sticking. You will exit your TV experience with a feeling of satisfaction and inner peace.

Some favorite targets around here:

e-Harmony couples. Double points for getting their obnoxious founder in the head.
Gaudy jewelry commercials. Cause every kiss does NOT begin with Kay damn it, and we don't give a shit if He Went To Jared.
People in denial about getting old. Some examples: Just for Men, any goo that is marked as "age defying wrinkle liquifier", erectile dysfunction remedies.
Flava Flav. It doesn't matter what he's doing, that ugly muffka gets shot regardless. Old Public Enemy videos excepted.
Weight loss products of any stripe.This includes Special K.
Bob. New Englanders need no other explanation. Those commercials are a crime against furniture.
Above the Influence and Truth commercials. I suspect a hidden agenda with them because I SWEAR every time one comes on I have this sudden urge to start smoking pot and/or cigarettes out of spite.
Ads for restaurant chains that are nowhere near Northampton. Prime offenders being Sonic (nearest one is 200 miles away) and up until very recently, Red Robin. NOT YOUR MARKET OH GOD SHUT UP.

ETA: What would you shoot?