hmm

It appears that somewhere along the way I've dropped a little weight. We don't own a scale, but I did notice yesterday that my hands and forearms looked way thinner than I remember. As usual, I'm a little conflicted by this, but overall, especially considering my general state of being, I've decided I don't fucking care.

I suppose I'd better get used to it. Eating is not only pretty low on my priority list, I've got that special kind of edgy feeling where the knot in my tummy is so tight the very thought of food is nauseating. Also, much to my annoyance, any physical contact beyond a very gentle hug hurts.

I hate stress. I hate depression. Fuck my life right now.

junk mail, volume lost count

Teach your prick to work better - and of course the first thing I think of is CSNY: "Teach your wangers well/Their penile hell did slowly go by/Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry/So just look at them and sigh and know they love you..."

Make Me Gag On Your Thing - I can think of so many more easily accesible things to gag on. Try brushing your teeth very vigorously sometime.

HoHoHo, Farting Santa Claus is here - You know, let's think about this. You're a cheerfully rotund old white guy in a red and white fur suit that probably weighs more than you do and your sovereign duty is that one night a year you have to rapidly squeeze yourself down and then back up several hundreds of million chimneys without getting stuck or falling behind schedule. Considering the tight confines presented by a narrow chimney and large man, farting is probably a very serious occupational hazard.

mating season all year pupa inevitabilities - obviously some species of insects mating if there are inevitable pupae involved.

c0ck-karate lessons - And now, our feature presentation: Crouching Ballsack, Hidden Wanger!

Educational fornication penguins stark lived atrocity helicopter - the educational atrocity of penguins fornicating starkers in a helicopter. What is the world coming to?

this is Kat let's go out and have mmmm :-) - have mmmm? Is this the verbal equivelant of bleeping out naughty words?

Fwd: Educated from the best slide humped - You know, I had better things to do with slides than hump them. Like, um, sliding on them and stuff.

Re: catawba promulgate - Cowabunga, dude.

Hellllo, aaaas you requuuuest ouuur offfffer - Whoooo IIIIIII aaaaaam thhheee gggghoooooost of jjjjuuuuunk mmmmaaaaaail paaaaaaaaaast... The deeeeeeaaaaaad piiiiraaaaate Rrrrrooobbbberts is heeeeeere for yoouur soooooooouuuuuulllll....