Andee from the internet.

Ever go back and reread something you wrote while under the influence of $x? yeah, I mentioned I was scribbling while drinking last night... I checked the doc this morning cause I didn't remember saving or closing, read what was there, and was all O_O. got. damn. woman. It wasn't that it was bad, it was just apparently I'd gotten into a very emotionally raw headspace and seeing it on "paper" was a little... jarring. Embarrassing? Uncomfortable? I don't know.

In other news I slept like the dead only to wake up and find that I was an hour out of sync with the rest of the world. It took me a few minutes to remember that it wasn't because I was still kinda drunk (I was still a little fuzzy around the edges), but that everyone decided to change their clocks on me and not tell me. Seriously, even my computer, cell phone, and iPod are in on the joke, not to mention the cable. Only the stove and the kitchen clock love me...

Hm. Apparently I'm still funny around the edges. Heh.

In other news, I'm rather excited because I made Fisher Price® My First Sale on Craigslist™. Extra C note for the rather fiercely needed win. NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHEN WE DANCE!!!

*ahem* yes quite. I should go do something a bit more productive... maybe take a walk. holy crap 52 degrees batman.

( cut because we care (and know you might not) )

Rock over London, rock over Chicago. LoudTwitter: Shipping tweets to your blog daily.

I'm hoping today is an improvement over tomorrow, which did get a tiny bit better after long talks with both bluewindkitsune and sundart, packing another box (I'm now out - gonna have to find a few more), lamb chops (mmm, meat) and a bit of vanilla vodka. Today there is fresh whiteshit coming down, and it's been long enough since the last storm that I'm enjoying it. What was already on the ground was getting dingy. :) Plus it should make my driving lesson tomorrow quite interesting.

Yesterday was plain awful, but that's... not now... that's then. ** There were some hard realizations to be dealt with, and some truths that needed to be told weeks ago that needed to be processed with multiple people. I think in all cases, the essential lesson is be less of a coward about saying a) what I need b) what's going on in my life. I think in all cases where this applies I get so hung up on possible backlash when I say something about anything that I just... don't. That needs to not happen. Also... I think I need to learn to both take things at face value and to be someone who can be taken at face value. That right there has gotten me into more trouble than anything else.

I need to be done mining the past. For angst, analysis, self-flagellation, castigation of others, what have you. I've done it enough so that I have a pretty good understanding of where I fucked up and where I allowed others to fuck me up/over. I've got a game plan for the next six months, and kind of a nebulous idea for the six after that. Both plan and idea and the people/projects surrounding them are far worthier of my attention than the backward spiral I've been riding for damn ever.

Hmm. Headache. I'm guessing it's a lack of caffiene and not last night's vodka causing it (I didn't have THAT much). Off to get breakfast and start the day.



** name the movie and i give you cookie.